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Thread: #47

  1. #1
     
    Join Date
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    #47

    The disco of madness
    is where you flirt with fear
    and laugh at folly tricks
    and eat the pie in the
    faces of the figure
    that scares the children
    half to death
    or half from life
    as they choke on cotton candy
    and singe their genetics
    by the fire which man spit with rancid breath
    that intertwined with the fecal matter
    the dancing elephant planted
    for the twirling girlies to pirouette
    amongst the musical mayhem
    of the bearded woman who sings
    the high notes caught in mid air
    by acrobats trusting their lives in
    blistered hands feeding the
    lion who bit the whip
    that lacerated the hind end of the
    oriental pretzel men and women
    who fold the jokers dealt to them so
    they can reveal the royal flush
    of the ringmasters face that
    pukes in his top-to-bottom hat whilst being
    dazzled by the snow globe traveled
    by 1, count 'em 2
    3,4,5,6 motorcycles racing over death
    like the road less traveled and
    the fumes intoxicate the clown once again
    so he babbles horrible jokes to entertain
    millions who are petrified of his stereotyped costume
    that shoots poisoned water from the black rose
    that was plucked from the awkward garden of
    the harriest man alive
    whos fleas itch his thoughts conjuring dreams of skin disease
    itchy scratchy, itchy scratchy, his finger blends with those
    pointing at his abnormal life
    so he blasts the human firery-cannonball
    into the flocks of pointing fingers
    and they die
    and they die
    while
    the lights flash around
    now they all come back alive
    just to prove he didn't knock the crowd dead
    as they sing
    "Na Na Na Na,
    Na Na Na Na,
    Hey Hey Hey,
    Goodbye"

    and the clowns
    ringmasters' frown goes upside down
    flipping with the acrobats now
    falling into the lions cage
    swarming with motorcycles
    around the bearded lady again on high
    scaring the elephant on to a pie
    that squirts and kills the inferno breath
    so the twirling girlies stop to show care
    But The Show Must Go On!
    Paranoia
    Paranoia in the Disco of madness where
    an electrical outtage..................
    Awe struck is the audience who is never speechless,
    ENCORE!
    Roc-A-Fella !

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! J-killa's Avatar
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    good drop
    JuMp OfF

  3. #3
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Awards SS HW Champion Haiku Champion FL Champion PS Champion/IE Champion WOP Champion OM HOF PC HOF 50+ Wins
    this was koo...you and your damn abstract pieces damnit...lmfao...nice man i liked it alot cus it was like i was placed into the time and situation given and i felt like it was nicely ssorted amongst such criteria such as content, wording, structure, emotino, metaphors and multies...nicely assorted i may say again!...nothing was ever cramped into one such stanza ya know it had a element of each criteria in each stanza ya know...it was koo reading this..the first thing that popped on up was roll bounce..lmfao i had a picture of roll bounc ein my head through this whole piece...lol
    well dude nice drop and nice emotion i really liked this as a personal FAV. keep it up dude!.

    RTF on the link in the sig.
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  4. #4
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
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    This was an abnormally good piece man. I mean it had a weird vibe strung in here and I felt it was about a circus, just the abstract view of things and I feel that you executed the theme well man. It was a pretty interesting piece in my vision, and just the in you face swing of things and the pessimistic mood made it seem even better with the dark swing of things. I liked this man, it seemed like a mildly but not overdone abstract style. I like your use of vocabulary, even though I laughed so hard at "fecal matter", but it wasn't meant to be a joke or anything. It was nevertheless a good drop, just a stretched view of things man, it was pretty dope and I liked this. This seems like kind of my writing style, and I liked the added features and content in here. It definitely wasn't your best, but it lived up to my expectations as a pretty good and advanced read. I didn't really get what the title had to do with the piece or anything, but it was like an added mystery to slip that in and I liked how you added the account of just making the reader thing in this piece man. Overall, good job.

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  5. #5
     
    Join Date
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    Thanks for the look dude.. and The title has nothing to do with the piece.. If I don't think of or want a title for a piece, I number it.. this is the 47th piece that has no title... and I dropped one like a couple months ago titled 46.. All poems in between those two had titles.
    Roc-A-Fella !

  6. #6
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    ^^
    yea i know....lol...i remeber you telling me about that in WV chat room...
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

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