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Thread: Don't Call Me A Nigga.

  1. #1
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
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    Don't Call Me A Nigga.

    This piece has, and will likely continue to undergo revisions, but though it's long i feel like it is just about right. I promise to return any and ALL favors of anyone who takes the time to read and review this piece because it would mean a lot to me.
    Thanks in advance.

    Don't Call Me A Nigga
    Black Prince



    Dont call me a nigga...
    i say it as i dust off my two cents laying on the floor
    picking up those two pennies lookin like my soul
    whether bold or in hiding, smoking crack or fighting
    takin pride in the fact i can ride till i die
    smiling, and when im not,still shining because i am black
    trapped where poverty is a hobby, job, and way of being
    laughed at the g's seeing that they aint gangsta like me
    i might be, slightly off my rocker like John
    but my mindstate is untouchable
    still wondering why my family wasn't like the huxtables
    i mean i know that an apartment is most folks brick house
    and if a shorty is a brick house, she can suck dick like a muthafucka
    but i demand you dont call ME a nigga
    for keepin it real, around hood sprinters who run blocks
    and the true ballers wet with a glock instead of a jumpshot
    run up on you like "where you from oc?" colors and crews
    towns and signs i swear to someone i dont believe in i've seen my death a thousand times
    40's and fronts, bitches and blunts, desserts on trucks and desert eagles that pump
    where basketball courts make bench warmers of the feeblest thugs
    where the innocent pick up bids is where i dropped my cents, or is it sense?
    either way its intense, grown men running from stickup kids
    pigs look the other way as my mother falls and takes another stray
    brothers deliver MAD harm, touch you if you rockin white tees or phat farm
    what would you do-fam, stay true-can you say "dont worry i got my crew man?"
    i say this to say dont call me a nigga because im a hue-man
    ain't nothin new and it definitely ain't nothin stoppin them
    if the new plantation's the penitentiary, im still waitin for the next cotton gin
    while the world is crackin up cause we got raised weapons and we wet it
    because we forever dying thanks to crack, them SAME weapons, and the Aids epidemic
    back in the day Temptations went from ya pops singin a melody to that shorty Melody
    u tryna stare through her skirt, irkin you cause of the shit you'll never see
    but another probably will when Melody thinks it's cool
    until she's forced to drop out of school due to her swollen belly
    in my memory peddling bicycles, 10 cent icicles, and house parties
    shorties who willin to try anything, if i missed a nerve then im sorry
    triggers lean back like a single, poppin like pringle tops, every single shot
    i feel burned in my dreams, as my world burn at the seams
    it's a lot of dreamers but more sleepers, we've become bed slaves
    you may be nappy and happy but in America we're taught to dread braids
    and i feel bad because i am and it hurts to say that
    but when they see you, they're sick from your timbs to your wave cap
    i'm outspoken i dare you to act coward
    censored like a CD where the omit the phrase "black power"
    react NOW because i know i couldn't have stuttered or missed ya
    where kids thinkin kin when Chuck D say "Brothas and Sistas"
    niggas caught in the block servin white and the powder
    now we fighting our own instead of fighting the power
    and its funny cause i said the shit a few times and if i had to figure
    anything to call me i would have to say a nigga
    semi-ignorant thinkin revenge when i say i got a nigga's back
    remember when weed and beads was a niggas crack?
    now its koolaid and coke who woulda figured that?
    and we got bigger dreams so lookout for them block jews
    who livin on wax,and watchin blaxploitation at Madea's Family Reunion, Cookouts and Barbershops 2
    pardon me if you consider us black people a race of faces
    disgraced wit triggers all of whom is doin things killas do
    just know you cant say the shit around me if u white even if u my nigga too
    flowin nigga spirituals, droppin nigga words, added with nigganometry
    i could say nigga and each time it could amass the national debt
    and plummet the economy, nigga ways, where niggas lie in nigga graves
    little nigga girls, raised alongside little nigga gays
    and nigga men, nigga boys, niggas, and niggarettes
    nigga toys, like heinekens and menthol ciggarettes
    nigga techs, niggabites, give me a lending
    hand as i end with a dont call me a nigga ending
    to black, white, brown, yellow, every figured face
    you fallin behind but this aint even about the nigga race
    just a nigga's rants and some nigga thoughts from a nigga's head
    now you know what not to call me, just listen to what this nigga said
    1luv.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  2. #2
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Reeaallllyy....nice peice here.

    Knowing how talented you are, I knew this would be a good piece, but when I got about half way through it, you blew me away. Really nice job, I just thought I'd let you know that before I started to feed.

    The metaphores were CRAZY, perfect wording in them, nice memory to think of John Rocker, I almost forgot. I think this would have been more of a spoken word, but you pulled it off. You didn't force the rhyme scheme, and rhymed when you felt the correct word. My favorite lines:

    "takin pride in the fact i can ride till i die
    smiling, and when im not,still shining because i am black
    trapped where poverty is a hobby, job, and way of being
    laughed at the g's seeing that they aint gangsta like me
    i might be, slightly off my rocker like John
    "

    and

    "for keepin it real, around hood sprinters who run blocks
    and the true ballers wet with a glock instead of a jumpshot
    run up on you like "where you from oc?" colors and crews
    towns and signs i swear to someone i dont believe in i've seen my death a thousand times
    40's and fronts, bitches and blunts, desserts on trucks and desert eagles that pump
    where basketball courts make bench warmers of the feeblest thugs
    where the innocent pick up bids is where i dropped my cents, or is it sense?
    "


    To be honest, I thought this was just going to be another little rant about white and blacks, and what happened and all.. you know, along with every other piece you see currently. But you did EVERYTHING in the right aspect that just completely blew me away like I said before.

    I was eating something when I started to read this, and I just forgot about it and read on.. This is definatly HoF, but don't be proud of the HoF, be proud of the writing man. Great stuff.. I never leave this much feed unless the piece is getting somewhere, nice job keep writing.

    Oh, and when Phrantik and I drop the collab in the Poetry section, could you leave some feed on it?

    "Say Hello! Kiss Goodbye"

    thanks
    Artificial.Intelligence

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  3. #3
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
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    No, thank you, seriously that feed was far beyond anything i expected considering the length of the piece, so just knowing that you took the time to hear what i had to say is enough of a reward. I'll definitely be looking forward to your forthcoming piece with Phrantik. Thanks again for the depth of your reply man, i'm really honored that you liked it, 1luv.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  4. #4
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Artificial.Intelligence

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  5. #5
    Word is Bond Sublime D's Avatar
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    i like the new revision...
    Bittersweet

  6. #6
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    this was a nice read prince...you did and as always have BLEW ME AWAY!...dude your metaphors here were sparadic and very deep....it took something away and brought forth a new...a new meaning in vision man..like i felt that shit deeply cus i am 1/4 african american and knowing someone and seeing someone hit the problem in the exact spot is really a nice thing to see..this shit is mad real no joke this shit happens here today were i live on guam a fuckin phony island that is small yet alot of racism is disputed from people in the army and national guard. anway's back to the feed...you spread out your mutlies and diction nicely nothing forced it flowed well and the image painted and the vision fore sought really twisted in and out with the external and internal rhythmatic pattern..nicely doen yet not original on the topic very very original on the verse and approach!.. i felt that you really did a nice job hitting the truth and the problem with the others in the world and i hope this shit hit people and makes them realize this is still going on madly..things shouldnt be takin for granted and this piece prince belive me when i say this is a definate emotion getter and thinker and brain splatter of thoughts to run wild ya know....your emotion just was really extraordinary and the multies executed and metaphors?!..WOW!....nice job and congrats man nice piece put together and you should be proud of this piece right here...

    RTF on anylink in my sig pls. if so.. nice piece again
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

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