Dreamers Passion

[Calligrapher]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=308900

If only for a moment
To touch these sleepless dreams
Inside me I feel the omen
That is only seen while I'm asleep

I awake to thoughts of nothing
But an empty vision of dreams past
In twilight I feel it coming
Then the stars fade and the sun is back

No Dreams left in remembrance
For this I am truly lost
Without the means to ever finish it
Then it must not truly be a dream at all

So I am wrought with sleepless thought
And walk in this same fashion
For in twilight I am caught
Sleepwalking with this dreamers passion

[P. Mortuus]

This was alright, it was one of those poems you read and enjoy the vibe of but it doesn't hit with you any after thoughts. However, i do think that you could have used some more intense imagery to evoke more vivid and emotional images in the readers mind. Also the ABAB rhymescheme was quite good to and allowed the transition to be easier throughout the verses and lines. So overall, i believe this was a good piece but one which could have had more on it's bare bones. Stay up^.

I'll appreciate some comments on this poem.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=309297