The Invisible Man: Lost in Your Nothingness (Laureate and El Poeta)

[Laureate]

Laureate
El Poeta

I see you, feel you, but I’m touching a wall
Blank and emotionless, cold to the touch
Trapped in this corner with nothing at all
I never knew I could love you this much
You’re teasing, you leave me, guess nothing is real
Isolated in this box, suffocating with grief
No chance to appeal, after I told you how I feel
So many directions, don’t know what to believe
I can’t take it! I’m breaking, the fuck do I do?
Slowly disappearing behind the screen door
Never quite sure if I should chase after you
Emotions are torn, I can’t ever want more
I stare, you don’t care, omitting false hope
Knot in my stomach, ends looped on my neck
Your words start to pull, the rope starts to choke
Heart and soul leave me, with nothing left

Violins shatter towards their deaths,
Hearts crumble to the sound of man,
A noose is tied around our necks,
As the guitar falls, with an awful slam.
Golden wings; they cease to fly,
Fail to reach their destination,
Earth tumbles with a lonely cry,
As we bleed our sanity to our own dear nation.
Slice an apple, to reveal it's mould,
Take my heart as a sign of sleaze,
Give in to the blistering cold,
Silent lover, release me please.
It burns as I fight my own dear desire,
The night catches alight,
As my soul embraces fire
So I cast away my pain out of sight.

[Omega.]

I see you, feel you, but I’m touching a wall
Blank and emotionless, cold to the touch
Trapped in this corner with nothing at all
I never knew I could love you this much
You’re teasing, you leave me, guess nothing is real
Isolated in this box, suffocating with grief
No chance to appeal, after I told you how I feel
So many directions, don’t know what to believe
^^
my FAV. lines from you laurette.

Fail to reach their destination,
Earth tumbles with a lonely cry,
As we bleed our sanity to our own dear nation.
Slice an apple, to reveal it's mould,
Take my heart as a sign of sleaze,
Give in to the blistering cold,
Silent lover, release me please.
It burns as I fight my own dear desire,
The night catches alight,
As my soul embraces fire
So I cast away my pain out of sight.
^^
my FAV line from you poeta.

nice collab both o you....had dominant vocab and superb emotino that drove the piece wild that drove ti to its own success in exression of words that just drew a vision or a picture or image in my head. i loved the piece...deep content and the feel of the emotion and piece was just WOW i mean i liked it and i loved reading the piece....nicely done

RTF please links in the sig

[TProphet]

Damn, this collabo just screamed emotion. Both complimented each other really well with each stanza. Although you can tell whos the most experienced writer as Poeta's wording wasnt quite as well done as Lyric's, but that was just a minor thing that didnt really effect the piece much atall.. Some great imagery displayed and hard hitting metaphors for emotion.. really nice collabo from both writers

[Illus']

Laureate-

Emotions are torn, I can’t ever want more
I stare, you don’t care, omitting false hope
Knot in my stomach, ends looped on my neck
Your words start to pull, the rope starts to choke
Heart and soul leave me, with nothing left

Wow at these lines right here , really great imagery
and emotion. Definitely your strong point through this
verse. A short verse yet it had as much impact as a long
verse. You painted the picture extremely well with the
words you chose. Very good drop.


El Poeta-

Violins shatter towards their deaths,
Hearts crumble to the sound of man,
A noose is tied around our necks,
As the guitar falls, with an awful slam.

Imagery here was very strong. I like the
style you went with. More of a poetic touch.
Unique. Yeah you have your own unique way
of bringing out emotion and imagery I sorta
like it ,,,I would have to get a bit used to it.
However good approach.




Both did really well on this topic. Definitely did
not drift from the subject matter...


Nice collab

[Laureate]

thanks...more feed please

[Laureate]

Last bump

[Soule]

Ok very nice.

Laureate: Very nice wordplay and very well flowing flow. I also liked the Emotin in this verse of your's, Very deep and emotional. The Creativty was nice and your Imaganary was so nice it left images in my head. The metaphores were alright. 8-10.

El Poeta: Nice to see you writing again homie. The wordplay was very nice. the flow kept a smooth approach through your verse. The Emoyion was insanly Deep and realistic. You're Creativty was nice and your Imagenary also left several images into my head. I lvoe readin your shit. 10-10.

Altogether: Nice peice. Nice Structre. Nice Emotion, wordplay, Flow, Creativty, Imagenary and Nice verses. 9 1/2-10. We need to colalb sometime. You guys can help me out. I mean I have a HUGE love for writing. But with you guys helping me. I can be HoF Material. Great Peice.

~Blind