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Thread: Birth of a Wishing Charm

  1. #1
     
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    Birth of a Wishing Charm

    Birth of a Wishing Charm
    By: ~WhiteOut~
    8/7/06

    Meteor showers present
    opportnites for searching hearts
    to place a wish upon,
    only which fall fast and shatter
    like lone shooting stars.
    Meteor showers shed
    light unto dull lives,
    instantaneous joy; dwindles down,
    the flam within goes out.
    Meteor showers propose
    generous offers of greed
    to microscopes,
    and eyes hiding behind.
    Meteor showers boast
    beauty that compares to
    glamerous gals,
    seen only here and there.
    Meteor showers race,
    and compete to finish
    across a line that only
    rainbow's end's can locate.
    Meteor showers feast
    upon the clear-cut sky,
    gnawing at left-overs
    from the moon light so full.

    "Skip"

    "Skip"


    "
    Skip"

    The man on the moon
    dwelling in boredom,
    skipped pebbles across
    the stagnant waters of
    the ocean in the sky,
    giving birth to these;
    meteor showers.
    Roc-A-Fella !

  2. #2
     
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    bump diddly.
    Roc-A-Fella !

  3. #3
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
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    Very nice, very nice.

    This is the first piece I've read from you in a while, and I see you've caught on a new sort of syle, and really captured the modernized version of what kids on RB are doing nowadays. I liked this piece actually. Most becuase of the flow, and how it was just a smooth piece from beginning to end. Not really an abstract style in here, which is good from distinguishing what I've been writing and reading recently. Only caught on spelling error, which was glamorous.

    The flow wasn't choppy, which was really the best thing in this piece.
    Great job White, I love it.

    Hope to see more from you soon.

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  4. #4
     
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    ^ thanks for the spell check man. I didn't even realize that I had done that =P

    I have another piece out of you wish to view it sometime.. link is in my sig.

    bumps.
    Roc-A-Fella !

  5. #5
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    yo man i was feeling this i never read any of your stuff but this i like i guess ima start paying attention to ya stuff because this pieacve was nice your vocab was good showed your true level of intellect and you imagery flowed well with the title you stayed on topic and overall this was an nice pieace fam..

    R.T.F on my stuff ima hit up your other one in an sec

  6. #6
     
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    ^i'll make sure I hit that up before tomorrow is over. I'm assuming you want feed on the "We Sailed with Happy Hearts" piece cause' you have used it to tryout for like 3 crews now.
    Roc-A-Fella !

  7. #7
    Banned
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    lol shut up man i can use others ... this dude told me to use my best to get in and thats what I have been doing

  8. #8
     
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    ^I Would that be the one you bit?

    Oh wait, you bit all of them.
    Roc-A-Fella !

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