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Thread: Life as a whole

  1. August 11th, 2006, 03:03 AM #1
    Heaven's Lyrics
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    Life as a whole

    Living life is a bad habit
    As a child - u can't have it
    As a teenager - life seems over dramatic
    As and as ya get older - ya can't stand it

    So why do we hate living
    But we seem so scared of dieing
    Why is life intresting
    But yet we keep trifling

    Why is life so wonderful
    But yet its so destroyed
    Why is life so destructable
    But yet it is enjoyed

    Why do we feel hatred
    But always want love
    Why is life so sacred
    But yet we never hate enough

    Living life is like a present
    Its always surprised, but prices never mentioned
    But no matter what life is like a refreshment
    Because with the bad and good, our lives are pleasent
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    Poetic Scriptures

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  2. August 11th, 2006, 03:10 AM #2
    Heaven's Lyrics
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    Ble§§yn - Living Corpse.
    Cry - The Racket of Silence

    More To Come
    Last edited by Heaven's Lyrics; August 11th, 2006 at 02:09 PM
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    Poetic Scriptures

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  3. August 11th, 2006, 03:18 AM #3
    El Deciple
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    well visit my shits in my sig for ya feed lol
    tight shit fam its amazing somone at your age made this thats awesome cuz ...... i loved the imagery and the figurative language ........ the only thing you shouldv'e done diffrently is the title you shouldv'e made it just life or somthing else besides that

    but other than that it was good
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  4. August 11th, 2006, 12:05 PM #4
    mastercopy
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    a little choppy but good overall.
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  5. August 11th, 2006, 01:35 PM #5
    Ble§§yn
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    this was tight overall, short but good, feelin tha wordplay and flow....they both were very good in this piece, the message wasnt vague...though it was too simple, you got to the point too easily, i feel if you would've put more time into this message it woulda came out even better, other than that nothing was wrong with this one ima give it a 7

    continue writin....
    Psychological Horing


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  6. August 11th, 2006, 02:10 PM #6
    Heaven's Lyrics
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    Thanx for feed...
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    Poetic Scriptures

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  7. August 11th, 2006, 02:16 PM #7
    .Legend.
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    Ok Poem. Not great but ok. The wordpaly could have been better and same with structre. The flow was aiight. Creativty needs elevation and Imagenary was ok. Remember theres room in every one for elevation.. 5-10

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=305099

    RTF.

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    One crew is enough for me,
    Forbiden Souls' has no possible reaqson to plea.
    When you see us start to move out,
    I suggest you find a different route.
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