Walking You Though Va

[C.Wrighter]

Chorus( 2x )

I got my black shades,,,My knife silver shape in my black blade
Its midnite sky dark in i'm ready to make space
In Va They get killed in Va,,,



its me telling how it be in the night time in Va
when niggaz hit the streets aint a word in ur mouth you can keep
bullets turn to NightQuil in the streets but its eternal sleep
when the burning bullets hit your bones in go beyond you skin deep
they might chop off your ring finger of ur feet
but thats for the killa's to decide
the gangsta's we just ride..buss a few shells in the night for we come inside
got some people wanna be more dead then alive
its more niggaz out here getting them pops then the cereal kind



Chorus( 2x )

I got my black shades,,,My knife silver shape in my black blade
Its midnite sky dark in i'm ready to make space
In Va They get killed in Va,,,



a peice of hardware go long helpin out Uncle Tom
from seeing this state over populated
niggaz get fade'd in done quick..like roman noodles on the oven
va niggaz get ez dough we aint goven by the law
police hands in arms will get cut off...as well as they legs with the C saw
people never tell what they C or saw'd
cause the streets or raw
and its time i show you niggaz the dirt that goes on in va
in most'a everywhere...when them gunz get the popin..first thing you better do is get outta the place



Chorus( 2x )

I got my black shades,,,My knife silver shape in my black blade
Its midnite sky dark in i'm ready to make space
In Va They get killed in Va,,,








Heres my Links



http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=275340

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=303593

[Amor Jones]

this was an alright piece. wasnt that much imagery in it. and ur wordplay n metaphors were almost non existance. n this seemed better fitted for the poetry. overall u need to work on adding imagery wordplay n metas

rtf by hittin ^ the 1st link in mah sig

[P. Mortuus]

Okay this was an aight attempt of giving a commercial rap fell to your piece. Vocabulary wasn't great but as your slowly getting used to writing again then it's not as important as a good concept can be to you. This seems a piece that maybe the topic was easy to right to for yourself. I would advise you to write to more social or political aspects of VA and try to keep obvious gangsterism out of it as gangster rap is played more than the word played is lol. Anyway, just work on the structure and topics..Stay up

[C.Wrighter]

word thanks on the feed

[step]

yo this didn't sound that good when i read it, but when i rapped it out loud it had a nice flow to it...

like pakaveli said it kinda had a commercial feel to it, but i still liked it a lot

overall:
nice flow
not a lot of imagery
nice commercial feel
not a lot of metaphors

a pretty average piece with a great flow

8/10

[C.Wrighter]

thanks for the feed

[C.Wrighter]

uppin this for feed its not just gangsta rap its real rap

[Euthanasia]

This was an alright read. Vocab could have been a little more up to par. Flow was decent. Wordplay was decent as well, i would have expected more. The hook was dope though, if you did this as an audio it would probably be dope.

[Euthanasia]

Can you leave feed on my om' as well?

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...72#post4796872

[C.Wrighter]

uppin and all yall who droped links imma hit them up just haven't been online lately

but im checkin yall out



leave more feed on this

[C.Wrighter]

uppin again for a few more in feed

this just some i did a minute back i guess you can say

and i wanna know what i could of did to make this betta and what i can improve on advice is a big key to this piece

[Wyte]

this piece was pretty good, i feel ur emotion of VA and how it is up there, good job

[C.Wrighter]

thanks man for the feed

when you get a pice i'll make shore to check it out

[Wyte]

iight cool

[Borzoi]

I agree with the lack of wordplay and creativity in this piece.it comes across as a very basic rhyme that you seemed to have rushed.vocabulary also needs to be stepped up son , keep at it.