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Thread: Dream

  1. July 24th, 2006, 08:00 PM #1
    Soule
    Guest

    Dream

    You don't remember me but I remember you
    I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
    But who can decide what they dream?
    And dream I do...
    I believe in you
    I'll give up everything just to find you

    I have to be with you to live to breathe
    You're taking over me
    Have you forgotten all I know

    And all we had?
    You saw me mourning my love for you
    And touched my hand
    I knew you loved me then
    I believe in you
    I'll give up everything just to find you
    I have to be with you to live to breathe

    You're taking over me
    I look in the mirror and see your face
    If I look deep enough
    So many things inside that are just like you are taking over
    I believe in you
    I'll give up everything just to find you

    I have to be with you to live to breathe
    You're taking over me
    I believe in you
    I'll give up everything just to find you
    I have to be with you to live to breathe
    You're taking over me

    You're taking over me
    Taking over me
  2. July 24th, 2006, 08:15 PM #2
    Lo0se CaNNoN
    Lo0se CaNNoN is offline
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    this was ok, it could've been alot better, not the best i've seen from u, far from it, but i still liked it, i liked the emotion, in some places, u picked up a rhyme scheme but then in others u fell off of it, but i feel as if u were goin for that kinda effect, not to rhyme'ish, but this was good, the emotion once again was very strong, and u drew the reader in, and made it so i could paint a picture in my mind about wat u were speakin', nice peice, and keep it up.............overal rating 8/10
  3. July 24th, 2006, 08:16 PM #3
    Soule
    Guest
    thanks.
  4. July 24th, 2006, 08:25 PM #4
    Lo0se CaNNoN
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    no problem, return the feedback on this plz

    Reminist Ft. Xtreme Malice
  5. July 25th, 2006, 02:40 AM #5
    Magnetize
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    i like it but not da best ive seen but i liked it
    and if i was 2 give u a grade then it will be a b+

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  6. July 26th, 2006, 06:25 PM #6
    Poeta Demonio
    Poeta Demonio is offline
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