Divine Intervention

[Brandon]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=300060
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=301645

Divine Intervention

Let go of your past desires and just learn what true life really means
Life's like love and it's been given to us from our thoughts and dreams
Seems as though their must be a middle-man;some unknown source
To fight the unbearable fight is being a part of an unstoppable force
The under-earth takes on a form like that of smoke and scorching rain
Ever since the Dawn of Time hath the sinner's heart brought on pain
Blinded by the shade of the demonic curse people acted upon will
And oh how the countless souls will have their own blood spilled
Glaring into the infernal sunshine as it whirls toward the heavens
Now death apporaches the earth, have they learned their lesson
Creeping breath of death sends chills down my neck even faster
Demonic scriptures sung among the undead to glorify their master
The clock strikes 12, but the 1,000 years of damnation is eternal
The abyss now seems to be rising above the clouds in a big inferno
The sinner's heart has torn down humanity and Satan got stronger
But soon God let us know that he would stop it and divinely conquer
Thunder lights up the skies and the presence of the Father is known
As all the angels sing in harmony; all the sinner's wil lweep and moan
Going down in a blaze of glory Satan and his followers begin descent
It hasn't been long enough yet, so there's still time for you to repent

[White Dice]

this was a good brandon
had nice emotion in it
it also had sum good wordplay
n metas n it
overall this was a pretty decent piece
im lookin forward to another piece

[KingKenoDNC]

one word "nice"

Let go of your past desires and just learn what true life really means
Life's like love and it's been given to us from our thoughts and dreams
Seems as though their must be a middle-man;some unknown source
To fight the unbearable fight is being a part of an unstoppable force
The under-earth takes on a form like that of smoke and scorching rain
Ever since the Dawn of Time hath the sinner's heart brought on pain


^^ was really feelin those lines

[Infamouz]

one word "nice"

Let go of your past desires and just learn what true life really means
Life's like love and it's been given to us from our thoughts and dreams
Seems as though their must be a middle-man;some unknown source
To fight the unbearable fight is being a part of an unstoppable force
The under-earth takes on a form like that of smoke and scorching rain
Ever since the Dawn of Time hath the sinner's heart brought on pain


^^ was really feelin those lines

i liked those as well..really well thought out..ayo you need 2 feed links also..but nice vocab and wordplay..good shit dude..really nice flow and mettas decent multies..good drop..overall=8.8/10..keep droppin more shit like this..for your first this was really good

feturn the favor on my OM{Knowledge}

[Synonym]

Yeah this here was pretty nice I mean the flow was a bit off at some points but the creativity didn't lack much well it made up for the lack of the flow and imagery but the verse was structured well kinda simple vocab but thats okay because it was still a pretty good read and also there should have been more complex bars and some better concepts just keep writing.

[Brandon]

thanks uppin

[Omega.]

ok this was a nice read...yet some words could have been substituted or word'd better nice overall nice assets of emotions and metas and multies my dude!...i felt at points your forced but this was an overall GREAT READ!

[Brandon]

uppin for feed.....cmon guys

[Soule]

Yo man rep 10 Plagues homie.

[Brandon]

60 views and no feed...wow thanks

[Illus']

Ok I like this topic approach etc...



But you lack hmmmm , the vocabulary to
bring out a better description in my opinion.
You re-used words too many times that could've
been replace with something else to make it
a better more interesting read.

Like fore instance instead of reusing Satan"
you could have used lucifer, other words as well
like "sinner" etc, try to mix it up and use better multies
for a quick smooth read. Your content was pretty good
the appraoch in all. It was interesting , not powerful though.
You could have went seriously into dept. You lack it due to
imagery, your imagery was not strong.


Work on those things that I have just mention
and man you'll do good. seriously. Take that advice.


Oh yeah to strengthen your imagery hmm what works
for me is getting hooked on the emotion of whatever
you are writing about , emotion is linked to imager.

[Brandon]

Thanks Illus....I will work on it...final uppin for you lazy fucks