Tequiero

[HeretikX]

mmm.... I could totally hear that spoken with a strong female voice... would come across at a natural pace and have enough taste of rythm to elevate to profound. Yes.. I think there are some small improvemants that could be made if you liuke constructive critcism =)

For example:
i love you, travels through a spell thats casted.

You could simply say ... a spell cast... that is the same as "that's(is) casted. Unless of course there is a vision of this particular passage that I do not see.. in that case tell me to shoosh and look harder.. lol

[P. Mortuus]

This was quite good. Simplicit but does contain imagery, as in metaphores. I liked that, as it made the om more interesting. I liked the way this sounded whilst i was reading but you could have replaced some words with others as they lacked the power to carry on the style with which the whole poem was written. Overall, a good om with a metaphorical value to it..Stay up.

[Omega.]

thanks my dude......appreciated feed!....also from you Heretik

[Dyl]

you seem to be improving and it is good to see.I feel that you are getting more and more creative which is putting a smile on my face.I was impressed with your imagery and I feel you did a very good job on it.I still feel you can be that small bit more creative and I KNOW you will because you are proving with each piece you do.You threw some nice metas in there to which made me very happy.I think you have the hang of that now.Keep this up my friend

-Dyl

[Omega.]

thanks my dude i made a new one just now called

Amor'

[Omega.]

thanks people now upping this piece please...

[Cody Nash]

this was a far different style from your "Amor`" piece. it's weird reading these in a row because it's odd seeing them come from the same person. it's good to know you can use your talent in a variety more so than a constant plain style. Here the vocabulary was much better, saw a couple typos or misspelling but it didn't throw me off that much this time. the vibe of the piece was sort of a sad/mysterious vibe, and in the end it was a kind've love-happy/broken-sad vibe if ya get me. The usage of the word tequiero was odd in the end, but we knew what you meant. lol. but yeah, good shit.

- Nash

[Omega.]

thanks fam appreciated!..

[Les Aleus]

nice piece like the vocab imagery it had all the essentials man keep the poetry comin

return the favor player

[Omega.]

did and i will do again man thanks!..

[El Deciple]

lmfao at teh dumbass that said somthing about punchlines

man i love pieaces like this you did your thing fam I enjoyed reading it. dope from opener to closer i was feeling the atmosphere that you maintained keep writting and elevating to dope status I'll keep an eye on your writtins in teh future...

- El Deciple

[Omega.]

woot man same to you ......appreciate it!

[Young Vin]

I had to read it twice, haha

shit though dude. i love the usage of metaphors. i love poems with metaphors. you had great usage of both similies and metaphors.

i love the imagery. i pictured some kind of struggle and then realized it was a love story. perhaps a breaking point in the relationship. by ending it with "she was my tequiero" it explains the attachment to her.

i loved this piece. keep it up

[Omega.]

thanks man....wootyness! ya feel.

[Simple Minded]

well. this was pretty dope. i like it when poems are vague, leaving you to do some interpreting of your own, however i feel this was a bit too brief. I'm really not sure whats going on. I'm thinkin its either about a chick who got dumped, or someone died. the personification and similies were great, you just didnt leave the reader with quite enough to know whats going on imo. I mean that doesnt mean the quality isn't good. it was still a very interesting read. sorry for the late return on feed btw...