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Thread: Forever Together

  1. #1
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    Forever Together




    ........Forever Together.......
    "What Ever We Do"

    Older Brother
    Younger Brother

    We've been Stuck behind bricks and Sentenced to serve times
    For being an artist with words block letters and curved lines
    For expressions of ourselfs, Are tags aren’t formulated to harm
    But are crime is punishable, On the same level as carrying arms
    Imagination is all it is, Criminal? Lets be realistic
    But Its Your vandalism I see, what you think is artistic
    From the scribbles in my notebooks, to this language on the wall
    Famous in my neighborhood, tagged, with love for it all

    On Miles of boxcars, in train yards and subways…My name rests
    With the names of many others who blessed them and their text
    Crowns, stars, and Bubble style…Paint rollers and spray cans
    Sharpie markers on my ear…Coloring urban waste lands

    Different shapes and size…A signature, graphically stylized
    The L.A. Tag kings, With bombs I idolized
    They grew on me, Shading, Quote marks, and Red paint
    I look at graffiti today, people use the art to define hate
    Gang wars, Started by a tag on the wrong turf
    Why care, we have the same love for this artwork
    White supremacists, Nazi’s, expressing their hate with my art form
    The krylon leaves a piece of me, a piece of my heart for
    The next artist to take, inspired by the designs that I made
    The lines that I’ve shaped, Tell what kind of mind that it takes

    To Say I vandalize when I draw, our creations a social outrage
    Creating social outbreaks, Take me away, My artistry will still stay
    Days I carried stencils with me, Test styles with a pencil, mindless
    And a paper in class, Thinking of names to sign with

    To where we are now, at the wrong place the wrong day
    Someone called the cops, they came and took us away
    Only charged once, with vandalism, destruction of property
    I took a marker in the cell, properly tagged on prison property
    To express my love for my krylon, My writing will lie on
    I too, am in a jail cell, with nothing else to write on

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Talent. Omega.'s Avatar
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    this was nice i lived this i like your rhyme scheme tim i like it plus your complexity mixed in with nice multies and metaphors really nice


    The next artist to take, inspired by the designs that I made
    The lines that I’ve shaped, Tell what kind of mind that it takes
    To Say I vandalize when I draw, our creations a social outrage
    Creating social outbreaks, Take me away, My artistry will still stay
    Days I carried stencils with me, Test styles with a pencil, mindless
    And a paper in class, Thinking of names to sign with
    To where we are now, at the wrong place the wrong day
    Someone called the cops, they came and took us away
    Only charged once, with vandalism, destruction of property
    I took a marker in the cell, properly tagged on prison property
    To express my love for my krylon, My writing will lie on
    I too, am in a jail cell, with nothing else to write on


    ^^those lines i liked really opened me up. nice closer my dude
    your sense of vision made me think and really read this well..
    your writing and assets of vocab and creativeness on the emotion really carried me over with this drop nice man.

    RTF on the links if so in the sig.
    Insane Joker Lyricists


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  4. #4
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=301605
    Hit That plz..

    On Miles of boxcars, in train yards and subways…My name rests
    With the names of many others who blessed them and their text
    Crowns, stars, and Bubble style…Paint rollers and spray cans
    Sharpie markers on my ear…Coloring urban waste lands
    nice shit right there my fav part of this whole piece
    this was a really nice drop u had alot of good mutlies..that stayed up with the flow..vocab was really good had lots of nice wordplay and didnt fall at many times
    it was kinda slow for me at the begginning but i got into it half way thru whihc kept me reading and i really like how u made this so dope with sucha used topic..nice job and keep up homie

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    The Boob Squad

  5. #5
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    uppin ill peep those two later

  6. #6
    a shoulder for my demon bobericc_lyrics's Avatar
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    yo i liked this piece... nice story line, i could picture both the brothers reppin to the fullest, and then poof... they get bopped by the po's jus for what? graffitti... but for real the multis were good you kept it within a rhythmn that i think anybody could keep pace to. so the flow was nice and steady. structure fitting. imagery wasn't as intense as you cudve brought it to, but i liked your wording it fit in with the plot. serving jail time, the older brother must be out of his mind, but yeah i got into this om, id give it a 8.5/10

    good
    'Chaeta

  7. #7
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    woot woot upping

  8. #8
    Soule
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    This reminds me of my Scars collab with Cry. But this was way doper and more emotional almost got me crying. Yes I am a man and almost teared up to a OM. Ok the wordplay was fucking briliant. And the flow was wonderfull through this whole peice. I love when a peice comes up as dope as this one did. The creativty was incredible and the imagenary put a whole movie in my mind. Stuctre was basic but you gives a fuck made it easy to read. The story it self was very impressing and had me in love so I read the OM 2 times. I give this a 10-10. And by the way. I am gonna nominate this peice for ya . We should collab some time with a simaliar topic. See ya around.

    ~LeX

  9. #9
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    This was an interesting piece, i like the title and how it fits the storyline yet still not giving anything away. The topic was amazing because it is such a hip-hopish topic, but still i have never seen nething like it done... so that was a well thought out piece u had there... and the way you put 2 characters in it made it even more amazing, even though it think it could have been done simply with just one.. and i laugh cuz this piece applies 2 me so much... 4 the last 2 months i've been tryin 2 figure out a name 2 stencil up and just a week ago i finally got one and now i have started lol.. so it's weird timing 4 this piece... your story telling was great, also you displayed as much emotion possible for the topic you chose, but it wasnt really an emotional piece.. though you did describe your passion for graffiti very nicely... flow was outstanding, i wasnt quite a fan of the structure thoug, but it doesnt matter... uhh, vocabulary was ok, it really helped the imagry... wasnt much wordplay and metaphors in this piece but there still was a cleverness to it... thuming and multis were outstanding... youre rhymes were all complex and difficult and u managed to multi almost every line still staying on topic.. that was good to see..

    all in all good piece here, not your personal best Tim but still outstanding... if you could return the favor on my OM "Falling ?" that would b greatly appreciated... thanks and good work
    I.J.L Reppin
    Tatt And Blue Perhaps You Knew

  10. #10
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    thanks alot guys

  11. #11
    Talent. Omega.'s Avatar
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    Insane Joker Lyricists


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  12. #12
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    nice peice man, it had a great storyline too and had an immaculent structure too. keep up the great work.

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    Currently Writing
    Nothing - Looking For A Collab

  13. #13
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    thanks uppin again omega i peeped yours

  14. #14
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
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    one more time

  15. #15
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    Tim...honestly you really are in a different league than most of the topical heads on this site or perhaps that I have seen anyways....you have a certain way of wording that really makes me interested in your verses. I think you have a lot of emotion which is great and I always can follow your storylines and this drop was no different I really enjoyed reading this one. You had a very different approach to this than I thought you would have taken and it worked for you quite well. It was an excellent read from you Tim!

    (if allowed...hit up the link in my sig)

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