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Thread: Life's Signs

  1. #1
    LyRiCaL sHiNoBi Devils_Diamond's Avatar
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    Life's Signs

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...11#post4719511
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=301429

    Do you believe in a Greater Force? Ancient Lore..
    that there is somebody that Created ya Fate and Form?
    and Awaits Always Awake Makeing Sure..
    Everything he made Stays the Same like Pain n Gore
    What if he Came ta Earth and Proclaimed the Worst
    would you look the other Way not ready ta Substain the Cure
    God please point out the correct Path ta Pick..
    Status Advances..to Catholic.. ta Can't Exist
    And in a Instant, the whole civilization become's Extinct
    my Instinct Within, lettin' of Adrenaline, that got you knowin' if Heaven Exist's
    Never Ending Dreams turn Dramatically, from Mental Insanity..
    Ta turnin NightMares ta Reality, I Cry Tears of Malice that Surpasses Grief
    Imagine Me..Traveling' at Maximum Speed, inta the Ballad of the Deceased
    Sadness Crafted Bad-Habits of Havoc, Madness Expanded ta be Disastrous
    Tired of Being Obssesed and Feeling Regret in these Seasons of Stress
    the Beast in my Chest, Leaves me Possessed ta Seeming Upset

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    Im that supernova Recruit Troopa Soulja,
    Takin out Brutes as Huge as Boulders

  2. #2
    Talent. Omega.'s Avatar
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    ok this was koo nice flow and ish....your structure though was off a bit and the complexity was meh my dude i felt this could have been donw way way ebetter from you but meh nice read though but work on cathin my attention more i felt kinda bored readin it


    RTF on the link in the sig
    Insane Joker Lyricists


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  3. #3
    LyRiCaL sHiNoBi Devils_Diamond's Avatar
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    thanks for your insight, uppin this for more opinions

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    Im that supernova Recruit Troopa Soulja,
    Takin out Brutes as Huge as Boulders

  4. #4
    LyRiCaL sHiNoBi Devils_Diamond's Avatar
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    how cum i neva get no luv shits fuckin annoying uppin this shit

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    Im that supernova Recruit Troopa Soulja,
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  5. #5
    Banned chuck taylor.'s Avatar
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    this peice was ok, i wasnt really feeling the whole topic much though, and the rhyme sceme you used just seem to be a little forced.. and yea nothing really caught my eye here, it was decent, but nothing special... your flow was a bit off point in some places and your structure was because of that.. your vocab here was pretty nice tho.. but the content behind that didnt appeal to me..
    it was decent...

    thats all.

  6. #6
    LyRiCaL sHiNoBi Devils_Diamond's Avatar
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    word sum much wanted critcisim, anyway uppin this and i'll guarntee ta blow ur mind next time

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    Im that supernova Recruit Troopa Soulja,
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  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    this peice was basic. Ok rhymeskeme and flow. Ok imagenary. No creativty with basic structre. I didnt see any real internals or methaphors which hurts you in the readers eyes. I thought this could have been better. But you chose a great topic with a ok peice. 5-10. Sorry. Still make sigs?
    Divine Diction
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  8. #8
    LyRiCaL sHiNoBi Devils_Diamond's Avatar
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    word still uppin this for sum more comments..

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    Im that supernova Recruit Troopa Soulja,
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