Cremation of Souls: Pakaveli & Silent

[Omega.]

nah i think we have gotten nothin but up feed from also respected topical heads....i think at least a nomination from one of the readers would be nice...ya know

[Facts Machine]

This piece was very well written by both of you. The first verse was more interesting and just better in my opinion. There's a lot of quotables in this, and the imagery was nice. The emotion was felt, and the concept was creative. The title fit the piece good and this turned out to be pretty dope. There really was no faults except that the second verse seemed to get off flow, as in it wasn't that easy to read and understand.. KINDA the same with the first verse... i would have nominated this, but i had to read this piece over like 3 times to fully understand it... i mean i don't have to understand every detail about a piece to nominate it, but the first time i read this, i had to re-read just about everything instead of just small parts, but yeah all in all, this was dope, it just wasn't something that made my eyes pop out and be like "goddamn i fuckin love this shit!" u know...

Please give me feed-back on my piece, it's the link in my sig "i'm sarcastic and coronas are healthy"... if both gave me feed-back, that would even be better.

[Omega.]

word and elemental im silent i left feed on that piece on my alias;

[P. Mortuus]

No probs i preciate the commetns and i believe i have already checkd your piece..Stay up

[Omega.]

se i left feed askin you to RTF on theis drop and PAIN.

[P. Mortuus]

Ayo Silent, i reckon we have got enough comments on this now and should let it rest....I already believe that our next piece is going to be way better than this, even though this was very good.

[Omega.]

im not sayin anything but word.......

*Hangs the cremation of souls jersey up*

[D. Josey]

Nice piece from both of you, very descriptive and likewise from both writers. I liked the emotion and the imagery felt in this piece and I liked how you both crafted it. Good concept, but I feel like Pakaveli outdid you a little Silent. I mean, vocabulary wise his was more stunning, and I just took a fancy to his better than I did yours, though.

Overall, good piece. Work on balance issues with collaborations.

[Kalos Graphē]

wow good work you guys... umm i really enjoyed this piece alot. it was an amazing topic and allowed you both to display your best skills. Way to rep Written Voices and The Reunion

Silent
Beautiful work, this is prolly the best piece i've seen from you yet. although kind of odd, i liked ur structure pattern...
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it was unique and catchy... your rhymescheme was unique also, and you displayed complex and difficult rhymes, though your piece could have used a little more multis. Outstanding vocab in this piece which really helped your amazing imagry, although the flow did fall off frequently in result of it. the wordplay and metaphors were amazing and i think that that was your strongest point in your verse... very nice man i enjoyed it

Pak
Flawless performance as usual. The structure was bold and consistent, and the flow did not fall off once.. your bars were nice and short, and got right to the point, but you're choice of words made the imagry oustanding. you displayed good use of wordplay and metaphors along with a strong sense of vocabulary... the only problem i see with your verse was your rhymes seemed to simplistic and there were almost no multis... work on that for next time...


good work u 2 and hope 2 c u guys collab again..
P.S. us 3 should most definately do a collab sometime soon.

[Omega.]

yes we are we got 2 comin out soon a 2 man collab me and pak then a 3 man collab me pak and i am unreal

[STAY-Z]

this was a nice drop, i felt a bit more emotion in the first verse i think
i feel this topic quite alot because my brother was cremated
i guess it just brought back some memories and shit
but yeah, i like the flow on both the verses
but the first again came a little bit better there for me and was an easier read

8.5/10 good topical

[Omega.]

thanks man ill RTF on the link in your sig my dude!

[Midwest Patriots]

some deep peotry. well written and a good use of words. i personally liked the poetry style used in the a cremated soul is a soul in peace part. but my fav line was:Waived on a decadent plateau of emancipated tears and lies
seeking of a reason for these unanswered questions
Laying helpless on thy floor covered with bruises of ones perfection
Battered dimension, trampled in digression
She searches ever more still she is a lost cause even in her reflection.


As the alienated brethren further expired and starved
The lone sauntering shadow of a man who once breathed
Sheathed the charmed blade and then it grieved
^deep man, nice lines

[B.I.Detained.]

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READ THE RULES.
CLOSED.

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-Brix.