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Thread: To Kill

  1. #1
    Soule
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    Post To Kill

    It feel's so great, to kill with out the hate
    To end the debate, or to end one's fate
    To pull the trigger, without being called a nigger
    To feel alot bigger, without the change in figure
    To look into their eyes, to see that dispize
    With in my demise, while their family cry's
    To use such force, whithout any sign of remorse
    Without getting devorse, to learn a new intercourse
    It fills my cup of thrill, kinda like my needed pill
    Using a gun or a drill, to get paid just to kill

  2. #2
    Soule
    Guest
    Uppin fior feed.

  3. #3
    Lol..


    Nice Lil Peice.
    The Lines Each Come Out Fast, And Quite Witted. With Good Flow And Good Rhymeskeem. I Really Liked This, Simplicity Worked Well With This.

    Good Job.


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  4. #4
    Soule
    Guest
    Thnx and rise.

  5. #5
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
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    Ack.

    This is a very, very mediocre piece. I've seen this concept too many times, and so many things that you said seemed to be forced. Your rhymescheme was mediocre dude, it just wasn't that good. I'd rather see you just like free or something, to get your expression out faster because this piece didn't display anything that well. It was very short, and I could've been longer. I can tell you didn't spend that much time on this piece, and I'd rather you wait a while and configure something so we can see what you're capable of.

    Otherwise, basic.

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  6. #6
    Soule
    Guest
    You'r right I didnt spend much time on this Peice it took me like 5 minutes to do. But I like reading it. And T-N GFX liked it. So sorry you didnt but W/e I dont care. - Exact.

  7. #7
    The Drama Club
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    This was tad short. The point was quick n' came rather blurred. Without much description I know from the term "nigger" who it was based upon. The all around structure was nice. The flow was swift. The wording was nice. Creativity was rather shortened but worked in this. This was pleasant short read.
    Life Is 10% What Happens To You;
    90% How You React To It.

  8. #8
    Soule
    Guest
    Thank you.

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Ok this was an iight piece nothing special about it realy.You could of put more emotion into it and a bit more creativity.Short pieces can be good sometimes but I was not feeling this at all.Just not enough effort was put into this.Use more metas also.....makes the piece a lot more intresting.Keep it up though and i'll be looking out

    -Dyl
    "Children and lunatics cut the Gordian knot which the poet spends his life patiently trying to untie."
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  10. #10
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
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    This was a nice peice but it was a bit too short. It was also quite basic but I actually enjoyed reading it.I liked the structure in this peice it was easy to read and flowed very well. You ended it far too quickly for my liking,I was just starting to get in to it and it ended lol. but yea you had a good storyline in this peice dude which is good considering that it is such a played topic. it was kind of lacking in emotion and there wasn't much in the vocab area that made me impressd,too basic for me dude. But yea if you had of wrote more this would have probably been a far better peice. but it was good for the length of it.keep at it dude.

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  11. #11
    I agree with Exact. Not only that, the rhymes are extremely simple. No syllables, no complex rhymes, no vocab. Plus it's short as fuck. Practice, homie. Elevate.
    R.I.P. Big Proof

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Donald Trump's Avatar
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    This was an Ok little piece you had multies which warent forced and i liked that no metas no imagery just flow and multies ok piece i cant lave much feed because of the lenght
    overall 2/5

  13. #13
    Soule
    Guest
    thanks and rise.

  14. #14
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
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    way short, average if not below average. you could've spent more time on it, and your vocabulary seemed real bland at points. i wish i could've got more from reading this, but i didn't. It was basic at best and you KNOW you can do better. like i said in scytso our memebers need to start shaping up and trying in everything they do. so no more slackin' off. keep going ..

    B. Nash

  15. #15
    Swing Life Away Wireless's Avatar
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    A bit random, doubt it's true coming from a 13 year old.

    Seemed more as if you were practicing using multi's or something...It was real short, could tell you didn't put much time on it...Just to be honest: If you're trying to impress other people with your writings, don't half-ass something like this. Try to really put time and work into it...I see elevation though...would have been a bit nice if you had more complex rhymes.

    Mondo Thugs l The Truth


    If I'm too simple, then you just dont get the basics.

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