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Thread: Good Bye...

  1. #1
    Newbie Solija's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Da Hood
    Age
    38
    Posts
    16

    Unhappy Good Bye...

    Good Bye...

    The paper again blank
    from words i cannot say
    i guess i just got scared
    after wut you did today

    im sorry that i spoke
    and im sorry that i cried
    but baby please listen
    for once believe ive tried

    tonight was just horrible
    and again i felt the sting
    of a thousand pounding fists
    hammering agaisnt my skin

    "Baby dont hit me again
    it really hurts my head"
    but you dont even notice
    you'll just beat me till im dead

    never have you been around
    to comfort me from pain
    instead you use forceful hands
    only proving u more insane

    my heart is bleeding inside
    my face stained black and blue
    i really hate lying to them
    for the abusive things you do

    people are starting to wonder
    if my excuses are real
    many lives i've told them all
    of the bruises that wont heal

    "falling over,tripping
    even walking into the door
    playing sports on the weekend
    and slipping on the floor."

    Baby i have no more heart
    to cover up your dirty lies
    i tried my best to listen
    to be quiet and to hide

    but after years of yelling
    and flying ceramic disks
    im ready to run away
    from the hardness of your fists

    im picking myself off the floor
    and screaming in ur face
    i dont care anymore
    because i fucking hate u

    so say goodbye to memories
    or chunking things at me
    say fare well to my gutless heart
    a new strong person you will see

  2. #2
    Newbie Solija's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Da Hood
    Age
    38
    Posts
    16
    This one got closed cause u not to poste 2 per day...

    so i re posted it...

    uppin for feedback...

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Atl
    Age
    35
    Posts
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    like your other, the structure was bad, rymes were decent, need a better vocab

  4. #4
    Newbie Solija's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Da Hood
    Age
    38
    Posts
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    thx for the feed

    Uppin...

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