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Thread: Nothing's better than you. Read this.

  1. #1
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    Nothing's better than you. Read this.

    I've seen the light..
    Though slightly darker than bright
    it'll have to suffice.
    I write words for my sanity
    my vanity blurs, sure
    I'm grateful for what you're handing me
    I plan to be damaging the misconceptions
    caged discretion states objections
    ever so readily
    steadily I tackle what's ahead of me
    let the lesson be learned
    but in turn, earn the neccessities
    to burn less aggressively
    excessively, it's the way that I live
    I pray that the shit slows down a bit
    before I'm more underground than my spits.
    ...lost and found the shits that I give...
    call it something special
    sailing on shattered dreams in a tattered vessel
    Call me ignorant, call me arrogant
    call me that which tortures your soul
    we're all born whole,
    then split as the trauma unfolds
    coldhearted and desperately seeking
    a warmer area lacking this labored breathing
    feeding off my own intuition
    FUCK your food for thought!
    caught in a web of distraught chaos
    brought on by the path that I've walked
    shot a pigeon in the darkness
    label me heartless
    but the message was too sincere
    for me to part with.
    Guarded by innebriation,
    I attack the world that I'm facin'
    pacin' makes for sore feet
    and cracked deliberations
    expectations are as expectations do
    so I quit giving a shit
    cause nothing's better than you.
    Last edited by Split; August 14th, 2006 at 06:06 PM

  2. #2

  3. #3
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    up.. someone give me feed so I can get another link.

  4. #4
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Hmmm...Different to recent oms but not to your previous styles, the structre wasn't great but flow was there not a fast spit flow but more slow, or maybe that because i'm half asleep but w/e....anyway i counted this as a rant on how the world affects the person but the person should care about themselves most as they are most important. Your language was aight in parts and very good in others.

    sailing on shattered dreams in a tattered vessel
    That was the one line that showed me you have more skill than your letting on with your non specific style.


    check this when you get the min, thanks
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=305352

  5. #5
    The Notorious E.N.G. Engivale's Avatar
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    Dude... this is not gonna be very well picked up, just so you know ahead of time, cuz honestly it's the shit, man, this flows better then almost everything I ever read on this site. I loved it, personally, but I think I just get the way you want this to rhyme and the suttle messages you're giving with each line. This is really well written, the lines are perfectly short and rhythmically written, I just can't say man, I was really surprised by this. I never expect things to really get me to say "Wow," but this did, and it was solely based on flow, which is my #1 aspect of appreciation.

    Anyways, I hope this doesn't get slept on, it's not like a perfect and meaningful OM that gets to you emotionally, but it's still well-done and I see the talent. I loved it, personally. I'll be keeping up with your stuff, you write the style I do, very similar, and i just think it sounds good. Stay up, hit my latest piece if you can do it I'd love to hear your opinion, it's linked.

    A.I.

    "She managed to extract from the restriction itself a further delicate thought, like good poets whom the tyranny of rhyme forces into the discovery of their finest lines."


  6. #6
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    Ive got a passionate hatred against anybody that tells this guy he hasnt got a good structure.. idiots in OM.. can you follow his flow and his rhymes? yeah you can.. fuck writing in a specific way just so idiots can say ''yeh yo structure was illy''

    just because his lines dont go like this <insert rhyme>
    doesnt mean his structure doesnt fit <insert rhyme>

    Anyway.. nice flow Split.. some cool poetic lines in there that caught my eye
    let the lesson be learned
    but in turn, earn the neccessities
    to burn less aggressively
    excessively, it's the way that I live
    I pray that the shit slows down a bit
    before I'm more underground than my spits.

    And if ive got this write.. those lines above or on some other level type stuff.. the way the flow [for me] picks up in the 1st few lines and then you say you hope shit slows down.. iunno i migght be wrong.. but if im right .. thats sick lol

    ummm alot more lines stuck out to me and this piece was probaly good enough for a nomination.. nice writing

  7. #7
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    I got Engivale and Pakaveli's some returns.. ^^^Did you have a piece you needed feedback on? Thanks to all by the way... Fucka structure. I can't be confined like that.

  8. #8
    Beats You.
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    The structure was nice, some really nice multis and very smooth flow.
    sailing on shattered dreams in a tattered vessel
    was dope.

    And the multis stuck out for me in
    but in turn, earn the neccessities
    to burn less aggressively
    excessively, it's the way that I live
    I pray that the shit slows down a bit
    before I'm more underground than my spits
    7.5/10

  9. #9
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
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    Well the flow was decent.. but IMO it wasn;t OMGZOMGZ like everyone said... it sort of was simple and was picked up and dropped at a lot of different points in the piece... some wordplay was decent throughout the piece.... and the emotion was the main element of this piece , made it much better than a standard rant or somehting..

    hit up Exact & I's: Eden's Algorithim

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  10. #10
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    ^I'll get to it tonight.

  11. #11
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    Very nice read Split,

    This wordplay made the flow come out very nice. I enjoy good wordplay and flow, it makes a good OM or Poem even better. The Creativty and Imagenary were very well put and placed many great images (Almost making a book) in my head. Thankyou for such a great Story plot. 10-10. Please RTF by reading, enjoying and Feeding on my New OM "Voices. Murder. Caught. A Murder Story".

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