BoaT vs Charon_the_Great

[BoaT]

10 lines

[Charon_the_Great]

fasho check...

[Charon_the_Great]

guess you want me to go first so you could get ready and adjust your bra
youll hear that sick, slick shit n straight drop your jaw

but look for them yellow vests cuz imma prolly sink the boat
small fry u aint even close to a vessel you could get lost in a moat

while im swimming laps around yo weak ass settin tha pace
you tryin your hardest still aint started the race

its nothin to me you're weightless steppin to the man
you're shit'll get no where like your name on dry land

so crossin the finishline thanks dawg, i had a good swim
next topic to dive into....how bout your older sis and her twin?

[Charon_the_Great]

hes not showing

[Queen_Icey]

charon it seems like you ahve like hell of battles open damn.......................... whats you tryin to do in here? what you tryin to prove i thought it was only 3 open at a time

[Charon_the_Great]

oh shit i guess i didn't remember the rules. hopefully i wont get baned or nethig for that

[Charon_the_Great]

no show... does that mean this battles closed?? sorry if its a dumb question im new to this

[Charon_the_Great]

its over then...i win

[DaTrusHurtz]

here's some feed anyway though you win

guess you want me to go first so you could get ready and adjust your bra
youll hear that sick, slick shit n straight drop your jaw
you are saying that he'll drop his jaw. If I told you you will drop your jaw would you be offended? Prolly not, therefore this diss is weak
but look for them yellow vests cuz imma prolly sink the boat
small fry u aint even close to a vessel you could get lost in a moat
this was actually kinda cool, good work
while im swimming laps around yo weak ass settin tha pace
you tryin your hardest still aint started the race
same as the first bar, just not that harsh, ya feel me?
its nothin to me you're weightless steppin to the man
you're shit'll get no where like your name on dry land
the dry land was a bad comparison. Try to avoid using simile type punches. It's rare that they hit effectively, most come off as corny
so crossin the finishline thanks dawg, i had a good swim
next topic to dive into....how bout your older sis and her twin?
well what about them? you gotta be more specific, but i wouldn't make mom/sister jokes, they're all played n' weak

Hope that helps, also remove the lines between your bars, it's very newbish. Happy elevatin

[Charon_the_Great]

thanks for the feedback and tips..much appreciated

[Dirty Nigga]

Hmmmmm

Charon...for obvious reasons, yo.

only tip I got for ya tho Char is don't seperate ya bars hommie..