Is It A Sin To Kill An Insect?

[Syk.iLL]

Wow... Last line was great. I mean the concept was great and you executed it flawlessly . The piece had great imagery and I think the last line really substantiated the emotion and the atmosphere of this piece. Something like a silent storm. overall this is a great piece and I think your structure really worked and it had a great rhythm.

RTF please:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=294824

[Facts Machine]

I liked your rhyme scheme, the way it went smoothly from line to line, no glitches. The topic probably the most original/different topic I've seen in from you. You tried a different style, and thats good because it shows diversity and advancement in the art. Your concepts and mentioning of The Great Depression was very unpredictable, but also very needed. Storyline was so unique, I would've never thought you'd drop like this in a while. I'm debating whether I should nominate this for HoF or not. Hmm . .

omg please!


thanks people for the feeds.

[Facts Machine]

Uppin.

[Born To Kill]

Cockroach sprays to con spawns,
But the truth’s gone wrong
Destroying life,
But sparing property like a neutron bomb

That shit was realy nice...
So was the pic you wrote off of...it's no secret...I have a tattoo of a mushroom cloud on my left shoulder...love nukes.

So naturally, this is pretty good in my eyes.

But not just cuz of the concept...the unique format and great comparisons of insect to man...to war-time man...are really cool also.

And this was nice multi's at work...

The tender speed of Centipedes center greed

Very unique rhymes...great combo'ing of words...especially to play off a hard word like "centipede"...no biggie, just thought that was cool...took creativity.

So was this...

Ever been in a crowded room where only one person’s
Comfortable?
Me too…

I can relate.

Anyway...this was a really good piece.

Kudos!

(Off to nominate for HoF)

Peace

[Sir-Merc-Alot]

It’s a shame to find worthless junk…
then serve it spunk…
Knowing there’s a scientific iceberg; your worship sunk
But the lifeboats keep the faith,
While the gluttonous teach the hate

damn, deep shit indeed, this line was felt.... I've been there mentally a long-time ago.... much props on this shyt. you have a poetic-type flow that gives a more deeper mood to your pieces

[Facts Machine]

Very appreciated, thanks ya'll.

[Witty]

this was very well written,I really enjoyed reading it...you had a really interesting story here,and I absolutely love your concepts they are so fucking dope.Your structure was also very good,the multes were placed very well.I really liked this peice and I see that BTK has nominated it and I will second it,but you're basically already in since BTK nominated you lol

[Facts Machine]

this was very well written,I really enjoyed reading it...you had a really interesting story here,and I absolutely love your concepts they are so fucking dope.Your structure was also very good,the multes were placed very well.I really liked this peice and I see that BTK has nominated it and I will second it,but you're basically already in since BTK nominated you lol

yeah true lol. I still like getting feed-back so thanks.

[Soule]

I really felt this peice had potential as a HOF entry. The structre was great and the flow was wonderful. I loved the story and the wordplay. Out of all this is a 9 1/2 out of 10 piece.

Keep it up and hit up my OM.

[$pitacular]

very different, refreshing. I like how your rhyme scheme jumped to a different tempo here and there, made an interesting read. Good use of vocab, well exectuted. Def HOF worthy.

pz

oh yeah hit up the shit in my sig

[Nique.]

I liked this a lot. Some of your lines in the beginning I felt were a bit forced and/or rushed, but overall the wording and imagery was profound and I loved the middle and ending as opposed to the beginning. You really picked it up over the course of your piece. This was like historical as well as informal in a sense.

The sequel to the steeple evolving feeble people; Beetles
Mosquitoes flutter by Butterflies
Committing utter cries under sties
Eyelid's tears get stung,
Bumble bees nearly drunk; Feeling buzzed
Crickets steering jumps,
Spears get flung, leers of dung
Spies are Spiders lurking, working to…
Determine patience
The tender speed of Centipedes center greed for…
Exterminations
Ticks are tanks; stick to ranks
Of blood suckers in the smoke screen
Soldiers with their coats green,
Folks scream as throats steam
The universe will mosh and flood,
The planet will toss the humans
The humans will squash the bugs,

^Heh, this was dope, I liked the 3-line style usage in this also. It made the rhyming better. Overall, this was a great peace. Keep writing.