Websta vs. detremental.

[Websta]

Ok..
14 lines max
10 mins check in
40 mins due
no crew votes
no dr votes
no hate votes
blind spit

[detremental.]

checkin in.

good luck

[Websta]

ok lets do this

[detremental.]

Yo you not seein me, and ya punches ain't heard, so you must be somethin close to Helen Keller,
If ya album hit the stores, it would collect dust like wine collectors old wine bottles in wine cellars,

im 13 ill battle someone from like 11-15.

This nigga can't take nobody good, he has to ask to battle somebody in his age bracket,
you a faggot,this "Web" nigga "Sta"y hittin balls for fun like he wants to be a tennis racquet,
You "cumin short" and "spittin cold" like you suckin ya own dick with ya mouth full of ice cubes,
Ya verse is drownin, you couldn't "come up" even if ya lines was wrapped up wit lifesaver tubes,
This nigga from British Columbia, the B should stand for Bitch and the C for str8 Cunt,
But never mind because you couldn't spit wet if you was a "female dog" in heat,cunt,
Do I even have to finish you off, I mean shit, ya verse will probly make itself lose,
You would have a better chance fuckin the Pope in his ass, cuz to lose this battle, I refuse,

[Websta]

yo, your mental.. it even sais it in your name/
and sucka imma beat you it will be a shame/
dont accuse me cause you have yourself to blame/

you cant rap worth-a-shit, and for that imma ahve to punish you/
not just critisizing you, because you also have a bitch ass crew/

n' im determine that ill straight slap this nigga up/
also certain, that your man tittys are a size d cup/

i know for sure i got this shit set, and i know its sad.
hes 15 and hasint hit pubuerty yet/
ill murder this fool, dought me.. wanna bet?/

ill smash him twice in the face, and once in the chest/
fukkin carv dan greenlees in his chest so he will know whos the best/
you think im crazy now? well fool im messed/
your a dead bitch that aint worth shit cause you aint pass the test/

[A$tonish]

wow this was a pretty lame fuckin battle. No hate but both of you have a LOT of room to elevate.

Det- Your punches were alright but you REALLY need to work on your format, it seemed like you were all over the place with that verse.

Web- I thought your verse lacked any REAL punches. It just seemed like generic fillers and self-glorification lines. Work harder next time and try and bring some actual personal attacks so it doesn't look so second grade generic.

VOTE- Det

[C.A.Mcshann]

Det- You got personal on dis shit alot more than web, but your punches make no sense
it seemed to me like u just though of a word dat rhymed with ya last line and put it in

WEb- you had no punches, and if u did they were so weak i didn't notice them...

V//det

[lOOk$]

Yo you not seein me, and ya punches ain't heard, so you must be somethin close to Helen Keller,
If ya album hit the stores, it would collect dust like wine collectors old wine bottles in wine cellars,
^^^ok but a lil stretched

Quote:
Originally Posted by Websta
im 13 ill battle someone from like 11-15.


This nigga can't take nobody good, he has to ask to battle somebody in his age bracket,
you a faggot,this "Web" nigga "Sta"y hittin balls for fun like he wants to be a tennis racquet,
^^ lol gd personal
You "cumin short" and "spittin cold" like you suckin ya own dick with ya mouth full of ice cubes,
Ya verse is drownin, you couldn't "come up" even if ya lines was wrapped up wit lifesaver tubes,
^^ lol gd
This nigga from British Columbia, the B should stand for Bitch and the C for str8 Cunt,
But never mind because you couldn't spit wet if you was a "female dog" in heat,cunt,
^^ meh wasnt feelin it
Do I even have to finish you off, I mean shit, ya verse will probly make itself lose,
You would have a better chance fuckin the Pope in his ass, cuz to lose this battle, I refuse,
^^ meh

gd verse but a lil bit stretched lines next time work on ur structure but gd verse




yo, your mental.. it even sais it in your name/
and sucka imma beat you it will be a shame/
dont accuse me cause you have yourself to blame/
^^^ok but keep ur name out of it n diss him more

you cant rap worth-a-shit, and for that imma ahve to punish you/
not just critisizing you, because you also have a bitch ass crew/
^^ meh wasnt feelin it

n' im determine that ill straight slap this nigga up/
also certain, that your man tittys are a size d cup/
^^wtf lol work on it

i know for sure i got this shit set, and i know its sad.
hes 15 and hasint hit pubuerty yet/
ill murder this fool, dought me.. wanna bet?/
^^ok

ill smash him twice in the face, and once in the chest/
fukkin carv dan greenlees in his chest so he will know whos the best/
^^meh self glory
you think im crazy now? well fool im messed/
your a dead bitch that aint worth shit cause you aint pass the test/
^^ meh

u need 2 work on directin the punches more

overall det took dis coz he had a mix of gd wordplay gd punches strcture was off a lil bit but just emough 2 win dis battle

[Chris White]

detremental- sum decent punches. again....sex punches are a lil played. But u had quite a few decent personals. Could've been worded better and not so stretched but u did have sum nice concepts. Overall i felt a good amount of ur verse. Alot of it was creative and u kept right on him with the punches. lmao at the quote. Keep it up.

Websta- not bad urself. You tried doing sum personals which i give u credit for. Last part of ur drop though was filler. Not a good ending. Work on making ur punches more creative though. Add sum concepts and try wording ur punches so that they hit harder. You got the personals...now just work on making them harder. U've got the right idea. Keep it up.

v//detremental for coming harder with concepts, punches, and personals.

Hit this up- http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=293465

[ZeRo LiMiTz]

weak....

This nigga can't take nobody good, he has to ask to battle somebody in his age bracket,
you a faggot,this "Web" nigga "Sta"y hittin balls for fun like he wants to be a tennis racquet,

vs

nothing

Det, your bars where way streched man, even with a littler size font, u had one decent bar, i was feelin ur topical piece, seemd like thats where ya real talent is at no hate...

Websta, ur structure is wack, dont space out ya punchs, and forget the //, you gotta come with more personals, i was feeling the crew punch, well not really but it was kind of personal, had a concept at least

vote Det
both elevate.

[...Dusk2Dawn...]

You "cumin short" and "spittin cold" like you suckin ya own dick with ya mouth full of ice cubes,
Ya verse is drownin, you couldn't "come up" even if ya lines was wrapped up wit lifesaver tubes

Vs.

Nothing

V. Det.

[detremental.]

uppin #1

[Cred]

det-came wit alot more personals an direct punches. nice flow that was also consistent. but next battle take aim at ur oppenent an use alot more punches.

web-ur use of personals were lacked an sum punches were indirect. no concepts were used neither . use more creativity also ok.

v/det.

[Resistance]

Det- You got personal on dis shit alot more than web, but your punches make no sense
it seemed to me like u just though of a word dat rhymed with ya last line and put it in

WEb- you had no punches, and if u did they were so weak i didn't notice them...

V//det