-wordplay- vs Spekz. (topical)

[Katch-22]

-wordplay- vs spekz.


no crew/love/hate/dr voting.
house rules
500 to vote

[Katch-22]

Topic: Its Been So Long Since..........

[Katch-22]

it's been so long since the last time that you and i
broke bread together, sometimes all i do is cry
on your birthday, or the anniversary of the day you passed
but i'm glad you never had to see my leg get smashed.
it would break ya heart, i could'nt put it into words
i hope you don't mind, what was'nt spread, i put in a urn.
for my self to keep, the truth: i neva felt this weak
i put so much pain on this paper that my pen will bleed...

i
cant seem
to get over
the weight your absence
has left behind
for me
t'shoulder
i
hoped ya
would have been
here for the distance
now im brokin
because it's
over


its been four years, plus days...almost sixty-five.
they say time heals all wounds. i think that it's a silly lie...
that we tell ourselves to feel better, and maybe move on...
but i've tested that theory out, and it's been proved wrong.
every new song i write, i pray my pen would speak your name...
but i'm at a loss for words, and i'll never be the same
i cant even say whats in my heart, and when i stop to think..
while my eyes release these tears.......
..................the feelings are locked without the key

i cant escape this new indifference,
that keeps me withdrawn
and now i lie to myself
because i cant beleave that ur gone

[Spekz.]

"He" left me


Im Sitting and thinking begining to reminisce
on dwindling thoughts that it has been so long since.....
.
.
.
Sufferingly sitting in puddles of pity feeling the pain
Cant substain composure staring in this picture frame
Each day facing the same photo barely able to retreat
grief gradually built my hunger to see it, yet im starvin to eat
Not to mention the tension ive taken unable to complete this lesson
of becoming a man, crying everynight sleeping by my pride possession
In school im a zombie sitting comprehending slim info
my mind is in space...but i am constantly thinkin of it tho
staring out a side window, i let my mind wonder like loose leaves
I loved him, now nearly fifteen to wake up one day and see him leave
mother a mess she couldnt believe that he would abandon me
ive heard the stories that he did, but it will be back..you will see
Even though i no this is not possible i like to pretend
I wish he would have waited to leave now im tempted
to find this piece that is missing from my prime
He went so early now im hurried to move on with no time
It should have been a new world for me but now im at home
locked in my room afraid if kids talking....i feel so alone
So here i sit dumbfounded missing this piece of time
that i cannot find back in the past with my peace of mind
my mother cries mad at herself now that it is known
she screams in my face....just wait till your father comes home
???
O yes sorry ive had mixed thoughts on my daddy leaving me
when really this whole problem came when i lost my virginity!
at the young age...
of 15

It has been so long since the time he left me with less
a heavy weight lifted..now im jackin off.........
to my emptyness

[sic phuq]

500 to vote people.
good luck fam.

[CrosT Over]

Both Good Writes....

Wordplay- You Had An Illpiece Here Filled Withlots Of Emotions...although I Think You Lacked The Other Key Elements In Yourwrite Such As Imagery, Internals, And Vokab...youused This Piece It Seems To Get Something Off Your Chest And As A Readerit Only Vaguely Went Over Whta You Went Through...still Good Writethough Love The Emotion

Spekz-you Had Atechnically Sound Verse Here All Aspects Were Covered Imagery Was On Point, Vokab Was Definately Above Par, And Even Though You Had Less Emotion In Your Verse Than Word, In My Opinion You Still Had The Tech Down

Great Readfrom Both

V/ Spekz

[sic phuq]

thx alot for the feed, glad you liked.
-still elevatin in this area
nice drop spekz!!!

up # 1

[Spekz.]

Thanx for the vote...

good luck katch..

UPPING 4 SOME VOTES!

REMEMBER 500 POSTS TO VOTE!!!.

[Spekz.]

No Sleeping Yall!..

2nd Up!

500 Posts To Vote!!

No Sleeping Yall!..

.....................

[Bounce]

First verse
was simplistic yet the meter made for a good fluid read. Nothing astonishing or off the charts here. I hate when lines are predictable, and your verse was very predictable. The take on topic was not very orinigal and just done one too many times. You didn't bring anything to the table that would have made up for the take on concept. Interesting structure, I've seen it in the past, worked for you, just lack of content though. Emotion was there, but imagery lacked, and the played concepts here hurt your chances at winning with emotive projection. Just not doign it here.

Speks, not a very dope verse from you, but you did have the twist and some what original take on the topic. Emotion was not what I would expect, but you did a good enough job with the concept here to take the win in this. I did think you could have worked out that ending better, and did mroe witht he other componets. Sruely not an SS verse, that we both know...

Overall, both verses lacked depth.

vote = spekz

[Spekz.]

Geeze bounce...hate to have you see me in frontlines lol.

....Feels like poo..for letting bounce see me in a less than dope light!

*walks away in tears*

haha...

Thanx bounce..and i know what ya mean...

..keep ups Katch!

[sic phuq]

up...
ths 4 the feed reguardless bounce,
'preciate you peepin.

[Bounce]

anything I can do to help guys, you know I mean well.

Speks, tighten up your stuff man, you don't win a contenders match without doing your homework bro. You got your work cut out for you this week in SS. I think you can beat dude if you bring everything to the table, but you really need to work on a new style.

[Spekz.]

Word..Bounce

Upping # 4..i believe
.................................................. ...........

[sic phuq]

up!
vote bitches!