Natures Features

[Dyl]

Natures Features

It was a dark wet day and it was raining cats and dogs
The withered leaves bundled up like sleeping logs
The wind brushing the grass and wiping rain of their heads
And it sprinkling dramatically into the flower beds

The booming thunder now was echoing in my ear
And ringing bells defened me,preventing me to hear
The now growling wind,wisking round and round
Lifting little workers off the ground

As time went on the storm slowley settled
And leaving devistated flowers without pettles
Their withered body overthrown,
In a field they lay all alone

The war is now over and all forget whats done
The eager waiting from all for the shining sun
All wait patiently every day
and at their bedside they queitly pray

But as time goes by the fiery eye slowley arises with his heat
And brings happiness to the people beneath
The birds sing loud with their beautiful hymns
And the happiness spreads as summer begins







*Little workers-bugs and creatures
*Fiery eye.The sun

Just incase people did not understand

[D. Josey]

How do you do it Dyl?

Your poems are so simple, yet something about them makes it stand out. I don't know if it's the simplicity that brings it all together, but I like them.

Keep writing.

[Dyl]

Thanks a lot bro.Much apreciated

[D. Josey]

Oh, and...

Don't be startled if I write a poem right after you. That means that you gave me inspiration.

[-IsIs-]

i really liked that man. for real. ive never really been indepth with the poetry on this site. but this is one of the best ive seen. I liked the imagery you put forth. and the description of ''rebuilding'' was dope. keep writin son for real. and like exact said..if i write somethin after you..maybe if it aint a poem if its a verse or somethin..its cause that totally got ideas sparkin in my head for real.

-Peace

[P. Mortuus]

very good OM, simple but it's got a spark in it, the simplicity makes the reader think of many ideas. Vocab was aight and i liked the way you used imager quotes, "Raining cats and dogs".......Furthermore, i liked the imagery, the description and use of verbs really did enhance the overall quality. A very good piece, if i should say so....Well Done

[Dyl]

Ok thanks uppin

[shawty"B"]

One of the things that I love so much about your writing is how simplistic you truly make things, but how beautiful they always turn out. Your way of writing has always come off as unique talent that is hard to match. You did great with the structure, made it very easy to read. The title made me t hink you were gonna do some kind of hippie type thing but it was far from that hehehe. I've always enjoyed your writing due to the fact that your constantly finding new ways to make something from what is concieved as nothing. From what I see, you've done an excellent job here hun, great work.

~....Favortie Part....~

"The booming thunder now was echoing in my ear
And ringing bells defened me,preventing me to hear
The now growling wind,wisking round and round
Lifting little workers off the ground"

^^that to me left so much room for the imagination to wonder and I really enjoy that.

~*UnO*~


~Shawty "B"aby

[detremental.]

This piece is beautiful. It gave me a very soft feeling as I read it. Dyl, this piece had the structure and flow as well as some great imagery. I don't know about anybody else but I could see everything you said. Just beautiful, keep writing.

[SHAMROCK]

man dat shit wuz hot. the imagery wuz good, flow wuz good, strucure wuz good, n as everyone else sed it wuz simple bu dat seems to be wat makes it so gud man. keep dat shit up homie, ill b lukin at ur shit.

[KªL¡]

Iight as was said, this was pretty hot! I was kinda thinking one thing till the end when i saw what it was in real revelance to. It had concept, i was diggn the emotion in the worker etc.... There was good consistency, and nice imagery. Structural plot worked out as well. It seemed you employ the vernacular, pretty nice job at giving the reader a sense of direction, when your plot leads'em somewhere else. i like the way you exploited your difference in this piece, you were efficient and thorough, again like was sai, simple, but complex in a sense where it gives definition to the read, good shit homie, liked this, look forward to reading more, keep dropping, you definitely doing ya thing.

[Dyl]

Thanx a lot bro much appreciated

[Dyl]

Ok uppin this

[Poeta Demonio]

Okay, this was simple as a mother fucker, But for some reason i like it, it's not my personal taste as the concpets were layed directly on the table, leaving no room to be intrigued... but i feel that it actually worked... you used a few metas in there... 'raining cats and dogs'... it's actually strange that i liekd this though, your obviously a good writer to be able to do that, but i'd like to see you write soemthing in depth and complex to the maximum, only to see if you can do it. i think you can do it, as long as you give the piece the time it deserves, some of this poem i felt was slightly rushed and not really covered points, there were some points where i felt you could have done so much more with the lines, but that's just me nitt picking.

All in all in enjoyed this piece, well done... But you need to keep writing to adapt your ability.

[Dyl]

iight tanx y'all