i liked the piece,but i feel something was off on it...you had spectacular vocab......but when you use your vocab to that extent your bars seem forced.......too much vocab shows you forced your piece...no emotion.....you skipped around tha whole piece and didnt stay on point....multis pretty tight.....incorporate all these things at a balanced level....tell a story.....display emotion of some sort...dont just force your extensive vocab to fit snugly into a piece..with the kind of vocab you have you could write some ill pieces if youd tone tha extremity in which you use your vocab......pretty ill piece though....dont force it so much though...not everybody can understand big ass words throughout your entire piece...and i personaly dont always feelin like gettin a dictionary so i can look up some ridiculous college type vocabulary..and i also dont believe your thirteen....its rare to ever see a thirteen write like that..eiother way...keep elevatin and droppin.~1~
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