A shadow in the darkness

[Krimm]

ima shadow in the darkness, im an empty soul
all my bodys present, but i still dont feel whole
ima person people laugh at, a person who is not seen
not observed of, a soul which cannot be healed
im a shadow in the day light, my identities consealed
people look at me, like i dont even exsist
is my soul exstinct, or am i just missed
cause it feels like this, isn't coming to an end
its an ever lasting poem, not written in pen
im like the grim reaper, not seen but there
i dont sleep so i cant dream, of a better life
this soul trembled on, like a stampeed of rhinos
does heaven accepts shadows, the answers no,
and even i know...(im fucked)

[Dark_Shadow]

lol i like da concept of da poem
it was pretty good
it wasnt da best i read it u have talent
maybe u should read ova good pieces and learn from dem

[Rave]

pretty decent, yea, the topic is tight, unlike so many others who talk only about their greatness, you talk about the certain shadow. metaphors and imagery are plentiful, good shit man keep it up

[eye write]

This was an ok peice, but you need to elevate. Topic was ok and understand what you where saying. Next time, try to be more detailed or emotional with this peice. It was good tho dont get me wrong, just trying to make you a better writer.

please leave feed on my link, thanks.