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Thread: Articulate Creativity

  1. #1
    Kid-Critical
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    Articulate Creativity

    I had grasped for the Sun, but the sky was out of my reach
    So I reached for the stars with a magnified power of speech
    Agile words took flight far beyond the mountains and peaks,
    And flew above that range for a span of thousands of weeks
    Surely, every word was heard, the moral bounced in the streets
    But not a soul listened; the message was drowned by their sleep
    So then I dropped down on my knees, almost proud of defeat.
    I knew He would give me the answer I hadn’t found on my keep.
    But silence became the sound of deceit; I was forced to listen
    Becuz my vision was clouded by the fact no one paused to listen
    As I attempted the page, I know our lives are destined to change,
    But I can’t help but think of lost friends as each memory fades
    A slave of life, thin line between living and dead like day and night
    Angels grant life and in death our souls morph into a ray of light
    That same light brightens the path where truth is held behind in a mask
    I can endlessly read the bible in hopes to hold his sight in my grasp
    But each day I find myself fighting the wrath, like a titan of brass,
    Where my future constantly sees the fuse and ignites up my past
    Why’d they set sail in an ocean with the probability of a lottery pick?
    Did it have to be them? Is there a better place or a bottomless Pit?

  2. #2

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    this is quite decent homie

    structre=dope
    vocab=decent
    multis=decent

    8.5/10

    good work homie keep it up
    The Rise And Fall Will Be My Death
    So As I Gasp For My Last Breath
    Put the Gage To My Chest
    i Gulp a Heep of Salayva In Distess
    Sound Of The Gun Cocked Wat's Next
    *Bang*
    Bullet Incarnates His Soul
    Burinin His Skin His Heart Turned Cold
    Dead In a Matter of Secounds
    MIND AND THE PEN
    Is the Greatest Weapon
    So Dont Use Gunz or Knives
    Do it If u Dont wanna Live a Life

    Made By Me

  4. #4
    Kid-Critical
    Guest
    uppin

  5. #5
    ★ェㅆ エLLり™★
    Join Date
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    i liked it...Good Wordplay, good structure...Your Vocab in here was far better than a lot of people doing Om's and its good to see you took time to write this piece instead of just throwing sumthing together like other people do. It was also good of how visual u made it, giving the reader a picture they good see, good job with this piece Kid.

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    Kit Cloudkicker

  6. #6
    Kid-Critical
    Guest
    iight my nigga good looks

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    this was an descent piece ,flow was on point
    wordplay and vocab was good,,it was more
    like a poem instead of a rap,,i wish i could
    see more actuall RAps coming from rb but
    this was a nice poem type verse

    can you return the favor and drop some feed
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=292132

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  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    my bed wrong link
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=292163
    there my link i'm tired of giving
    feed and not getting any

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