Technicolor Angel

User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Showing results 1 to 15 of 19

Thread: Technicolor Angel

  1. #1
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    3,212
    Battle Record
    8-3
    Accomplishment
    10x OM HOF

    Technicolor Angel

    The couch is the adhesive, and the screen is Jesus, the electric bill is the demon
    Our brain enters the Idiot Box, live from NY, and then it leaves in pieces
    demented views of once primary issues, we'll never say "I miss you" still
    we watch; even though millions of fixated zombies will be the residual
    pixelated wrong-doings turned into pleasure views, lets just accept the doom
    Check the equation, dude. Color + Light is equivalent to the death of a nation
    are you into the electric persuasion? mortals subject to magnetic defacing
    Yo the tribute to the Sages? Lets crucify my bright future to technicolor
    Nude violent cut-scenes are the Holy God. dont mute it! I detect another
    I have a thiry-minute ticket to heaven, thanks to my loving sitcom elysium
    and when that's done, PPV will be my refuge, a living bomb of the seeds of SHIT
    But ill be needing it, once the worthless commercials hit. like ill ever join the marines
    I say fuck all honor, SNL, South Park, and Live from Des Moines is all I need
    Lets fall and recede, into the belief that the TV is the apotheosis of the supreme
    I'm on my knees - allegiance pledged, the cause is dead, now i trust and believe
    In the T.V.

    oh no Lord, help. the slaughter rule is in effect, my fam cancelled HBO
    Except that I long for more, when simple candles were the way to go
    the experts panorama are just forks in the road, but they all fall off a ledge
    they prove: the doom tube has different ways of calling us off till were dead
    Ominous clouds shield your visions, you know these hellions as commercials
    I travel the road less taken, because the intersates a pavillion of disturbance
    Full of bootlegged tape's, and directors lookin for kids for a new Porn Production
    feel the glass screens violent texture; and find that a new series is born for destruction
    a pilot of suction, sucking a bright future into a very aphotic present
    Drop minds into a suggestion box, and we lose them to its hypnotic presence
    So we begin the descent, into shoes too small to fill, im appalled but still
    the rate of mental retardation in the capital, brings the fall of half a mill
    The magic static is formatted and cloned to fit in every last little home
    bodies becomes filled with brittle bones, the couch is your own fitted tomb
    Im a channel addict, 63 is immaculate, give me the clicker, fuck paramount needs
    I don't desire freedom, religion, speech, dont care whats around, hit delete!
    The tv is devout to me, its slowly killing Zeitgeist and the Natura, and more yet
    Stealing minds and killing futures TV is a great heist and a murder, distorted yet?
    He said no, as he waited for his 60" Panasonic to arrive on his doorstep
    and then the next noble scientist is locked by a myriad of abhorrent renditions
    to watch? give up life and view violence! those are the distorted conditions

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  2. #2
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    3,212
    Battle Record
    8-3
    Accomplishment
    10x OM HOF

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  3. #3
    Young Skillz
    Guest
    omg....*speechless* this was fuckin awsome homie....like woa...complexity,vocab and excellent creativity was definately put into this peice..it was excellent....very nice imagery throughout this whoile piece...topic was interesting and overall the rhymes and flow were nice..good peice man real dope..keep it up

  4. #4
    is in the house Facts Machine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    Manhattan, NY
    Posts
    6,060
    Battle Record
    34-12
    This is probably the best open mic i've heard on TVs even tho i haven't seen much TV open mics used lol. but yeah that shit was hot and creative. The title fits the content in a very poetic way which i thought was ill. The rhymescheme seemed stretched but flowed great anyways so all in all this piece was dope. I'd nominate this but my memory sucks and idk when the nomination things are commen back, but yeah if u remind me sure then no doubt i'd do it. And if ur really 13 years old i'm even more impressed cuz the vocab and knowledge of shit was complex.

  5. #5
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    3,212
    Battle Record
    8-3
    Accomplishment
    10x OM HOF
    rising above..

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    they seek him here, they seek him there, yet none can see me, even though I'm everywhere
    Age
    19
    Posts
    1,527
    Battle Record
    6-0
    yeah nice piece yo. imagery was digitaly superb. vocab was used well with poetics..........i felt the flow got a bit loose at times . so yaeh that could titened up some mo i reckon.........coz some lines got too stretched.....n some words got a bit over the top as far as my understanding goes. as for the moment i wont be spending time to find out the meaning of certain words... great mettas formed tho still...and was quite a riveting reading........ sum dope multies as well f'sho......could of had some more internal multies tho i reckon to carry the long line flow.....yeah did have some good flows but just went off on a few occassions.........yeah nice piece yo

    stay raising

  7. #7
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    3,212
    Battle Record
    8-3
    Accomplishment
    10x OM HOF
    read over almost any Aesop beat

    thanx for the feed

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  8. #8
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    29
    Posts
    20,551
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS Champion 25+ Wins
    Accomplishment
    Legendary Member
    THis was a good piece on an awkard topic. The vocabulary was good and assisted the flow however the flow did get patchy in certain parts. The metaphores were good and basically the whole use of imagery was good.
    Multiples also there which make this an overall good read...keep it up

    Check this and leave some comments, thanks
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=291425
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  9. #9
    mcmxviii Atti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Posts
    4,516
    Awards PC HOF
    Accomplishment
    30x PC HOF
    16x OM HOF
    SS Champion
    SS HOF
    Legendary Poem
    Legendary Open Mic
    Legendary Member
    I actually read this earlier but didn't make it through the entire piece so I didn't respond... But I did really like this piece. It was odd, because overall it was a deeply complex piece of work, yet it had a cohesive balance of low end blatancy with lines like:

    "Our brain enters the Idiot Box, live from NY, and then it leaves in pieces
    demented views of once primary issues, we'll never say "I miss you" still
    we watch; "


    It was as if evey bit of technically was accented by the subtlties of simplicity, which never was a weakness, but rather a very brilliantly executed contrast. My only complaint with this was the uncontrolled structuring. The lines were rediculously long man, although you flow had no problems once so ever supporting the lengths, there's still just an asthtetically pleasing factor in shorter, or just moderately sized lines in comparison to vey lengthy and stretched out lines like you decided to use. So, nice piece in terms of content, but I'd like to see a different structure used next time.
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  10. #10
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    3,212
    Battle Record
    8-3
    Accomplishment
    10x OM HOF
    up again. . .

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  11. #11
    Banned
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    1,851
    Battle Record
    3-0
    Accomplishment
    19x OM HOF
    yeah this is pretty ill...I'm guessing aesop rock's "basic cable" was the inspiration behind this piece. if so you most def did it justice. anyways your mechanics were impressive, especially your vocabulary, man you almost hurt my head with some of the words you were using, but it all fit together in the overall scheme of things. your a real complex kid and it shows through in your lyrics. not to mention you have a real knack for expressing yourself in a poetic way. i really liked your sense of description as well as your imagery...its funny you know, i was just about to post a piece like this yesterday but choice not to due to the fact that i have sooooo many other verse currently open...hmmm...anyways check out my drop when i post it...its of like content...lol its basically the exact subject matter..so you might like it....oh well...finishing up here...i'm going to have to say that this was ill!

    peace

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Age
    28
    Posts
    125
    Battle Record
    0-3
    Nice overall piece in my opinion. Vocab was great I only had to Wiki one thing and that was Zeitgeist pretty damn good for a 13 year old. When I was thirteen I was down for Anime lol. Anyways great piece, I thought the flow was alright and vocab was great. The rhyming was awesome and you really didn't have any forces which is good. The piece's tone is very sarcastic which I like. I have question thought for you, what is NAtura, the only one I know is a cosmetic company.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  13. #13
    Back By Popular Demand... ELEETE's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    San Jose (Bay Area), California
    Age
    35
    Posts
    837
    Battle Record
    1-0
    Wow this piece is ill...I havent read a piece like this for a minute...the way you flipped the topic is above 90% of the shit ive read...This makes excellent poetry...Reminds me of some crazy shit Edgar Allen Poe wrote...If you could rewrite this shorten it down an put it to music it would be most ill...But it seemed to busy to go to any beat...But overall this was a sick sick sick poetic piece...

    Yo if you get a chance hit me back on my piece...thanks peace...
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...03#post4441003

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  14. #14
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    3,212
    Battle Record
    8-3
    Accomplishment
    10x OM HOF
    Quote Originally Posted by LedgendZ
    I'm guessing aesop rock's "basic cable"
    nailed it

    thanx to eleete, syk, ledge, and atticus

    up

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  15. #15
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    3,212
    Battle Record
    8-3
    Accomplishment
    10x OM HOF
    upping again

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Similar Threads

  1. Technicolor Type-A
    By Rah Gwahn in forum Closed Poems
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: December 12th, 2007, 08:19 PM
  2. A Former Angel
    By sexylilgangsta12 in forum Poet's Corner
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: August 7th, 2006, 12:19 PM
  3. The Angel Of Above
    By EyeBite in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: December 6th, 2005, 02:34 PM
  4. An Angel
    By KoKaiN in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: May 18th, 2005, 08:33 PM
  5. Angel Fire Vs That Angel Kid
    By DeRainged Anjel in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: September 22nd, 2002, 06:01 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •