Ice on Steel

[Nicasso]

Ice on Steel
By-Critical.

Breath of steel and ice,
Cold and distant,
Gray areas abound.

Shapes appear in mists of clouded sight
Hope is lost in ensuing chaos:
A plunge from highest steeple.

Superman is dead;
The backbone of a people
Shattered by their own tendencies.

Novelty is the only thing that keeps us alive.
There is nothing new, however.
That luxury is reserved for beasts and fools.

Call it fatalistic;
Call it what it is.
Caring can only lead to heartbreak.

Call your name into the wind.
Does it answer?
Does it answer?

Shout your name to the heavens.
No one is listening.
God is dead or gone.

No one to listen anymore.
Do you care?
Ice on steel is the ultimate epitome.

Ice on steel is all that remains.
There is cold, and there is unyielding.
That is all that remains.

[Infamouz]

I would say mind thought but its to complex for 99.8% of RB, I feel the poem, and its like ya name, critical.

Superman is dead;
The backbone of a people
Shattered by their own tendencies.

That was the turnin point of the poem.

The stanza of the poem is right
The struc. is good and over all the
poem is a good one, I would have
said u could have rhymed more
but then and there, its a good
poem.

[Nicasso]

I would say mind thought but its to complex for 99.8% of RB, I feel the poem, and its like ya name, critical.



That was the turnin point of the poem.

The stanza of the poem is right
The struc. is good and over all the
poem is a good one, I would have
said u could have rhymed more
but then and there, its a good
poem.

Thanks And That's Why My Custom tittle say's
Complexed......................................... .......

[~SILENT~]

neva really judged no poem. but dat was pretty dope. it was complexed an da consistency thru out was nice. der was a turnin point an dat shyt was hot. each stanza was more den decent. structure was also on tact .i liked da way u threw it all together . an hot title. very complexed.

[Nicasso]

neva really judged no poem. but dat was pretty dope. it was complexed an da consistency thru out was nice. der was a turnin point an dat shyt was hot. each stanza was more den decent. structure was also on tact .i liked da way u threw it all together . an hot title. very complexed.

Thanks For The Feed.......

[mindstyle.]

nice poem very deep, keeps u interested and thinking about it.
i have no problems with your structure, rhyme positions are good

theres only one or two verses there that are kinda overused already, the rest is superb with a touch of philosophy. i liked it


keep it up

[Nicasso]

nice poem very deep, keeps u interested and thinking about it.
i have no problems with your structure, rhyme positions are good

theres only one or two verses there that are kinda overused already, the rest is superb with a touch of philosophy. i liked it


keep it up

Thanks For Feed Back.....................

[Arsenist3rd*]

Ice on Steel
By-Critical.

Breath of steel and ice,
Cold and distant,
Gray areas abound.

Shapes appear in mists of clouded sight
Hope is lost in ensuing chaos:
A plunge from highest steeple.

Superman is dead;
The backbone of a people
Shattered by their own tendencies.

Novelty is the only thing that keeps us alive.
There is nothing new, however.
That luxury is reserved for beasts and fools.

Call it fatalistic;
Call it what it is.
Caring can only lead to heartbreak.

Call your name into the wind.
Does it answer?
Does it answer?

Shout your name to the heavens.
No one is listening.
God is dead or gone.

No one to listen anymore.
Do you care?
Ice on steel is the ultimate epitome.

Ice on steel is all that remains.
There is cold, and there is unyielding.
That is all that remains.

structure was great
emotion chilling
this was a strong peace when it came to imagery
tha message was awesome and u delivered it beautifully
good job man real good a re-read for sure

[Nicasso]

structure was great
emotion chilling
this was a strong peace when it came to imagery
tha message was awesome and u delivered it beautifully
good job man real good a re-read for sure

Thanks For The feed damn this is doing better than I taugth....

[Katch-22]

I would say mind thought but its to complex for 99.8% of RB, I feel the poem, and its like ya name, critical.

you aint lyin....
dope drop, thought provoking.
held my interest, was kinda 'short n sweet'..
but it got its point accross

nice work.
-enjoyed

[Nicasso]

you aint lyin....
dope drop, thought provoking.
held my interest, was kinda 'short n sweet'..
but it got its point accross

nice work.
-enjoyed

Thanks Very Much For The Feed.

[Soule]

Hmm It was very nice in my oppionion. The flow was fantastic. The wordplay was greatly done. The structre was very professinal. And the plot was ncredible. 10-10 peice. Keep it up.

[Poeta Demonio]

Hmm...

There was some goos points to this, the back bone pat was effective in my mind, I don't think this was as real said, complex, it was actually basic poetry, not too many metaphors, metaphors and deep imagery makes complexity, it's not just a bigger choice of vocabulary thing... I kind of enjoyed this, but there wasn't too much imagery in it too be honest, thats why i liked the back bone part, as it showed some imagination... But as for content, i really didn't see that much here... it was good enough for a read, but in all honesty (with no hate) i would not say this is a hall of fame piece... As i said, it's good for a read, but just theres alot of areas that need work, as your wording could could be placed so much more effectively to give the reader a full grasp of the picture your tying to inset in their minds.

[Nicasso]

Hmm...

There was some goos points to this, the back bone pat was effective in my mind, I don't think this was as real said, complex, it was actually basic poetry, not too many metaphors, metaphors and deep imagery makes complexity, it's not just a bigger choice of vocabulary thing... I kind of enjoyed this, but there wasn't too much imagery in it too be honest, thats why i liked the back bone part, as it showed some imagination... But as for content, i really didn't see that much here... it was good enough for a read, but in all honesty (with no hate) i would not say this is a hall of fame piece... As i said, it's good for a read, but just theres alot of areas that need work, as your wording could could be placed so much more effectively to give the reader a full grasp of the picture your tying to inset in their minds.

Thanks very much el poeta loved this feed your
feed always makes me better man big up's as you
read all my poems thought you know this is my style
and am just doing what you said before sticking to it
man thanks for the feed.......................................

[Poeta Demonio]

Thanks very much el poeta loved this feed your
feed always makes me better man big up's as you
read all my poems thought you know this is my style
and am just doing what you said before sticking to it
man thanks for the feed.......................................

And is till think you should stick to yuor own style dude... Just i would personally suggest placing more imagery.

You know when i'm feeding on a piece i'm not hating, i'm just trying to help writers.