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Thread: victory

  1. April 27th, 2006, 05:06 PM #1
    mc pyro.
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    victory

    this peice is yet to be finished so tell me what you think so far...


    An art gallery intoxacated with a theifs theme played as historacal
    i represent all elements at a test my own existence is metaphorical
    askin me or others if im ready to die that question seems rhetorical
    sillouetted in this paragraph is a truth presented as a deep analogy
    poetic antics amoungst theatrics with a similar old skool technology
    forsaken for the manstream but none will be be needin the apology
    only neccessary when the mind is overdosed and can not be fillin
    unconciously i blend and shade like eclipses as if to the lords willin
    my life is a mic and the beat or dj spins out all of my nervous cells
    emptyin out my soul onto the pad or disk as if it were bullet shells

    like i said unfinished so tell me what ya think this far

    links
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...06#post4376806
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post4376949
    hit up these om's wit some feed

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  2. April 27th, 2006, 08:29 PM #2
    Wireless
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    Ok...

    First thing:

    If you're not done, i wouldn't post it. I'd wait till it was done...But, for the critique:


    You started out great, and I really enjoyed your wording and vocab..

    An art gallery intoxacated with a theifs theme played as historacal
    i represent all elements at a test my own existence is metaphorical
    askin me or others if im ready to die that question seems rhetorical


    That right there was nice

    You had an odd rhyming scheme, but i appreciated it. You could work on in internals, but your flow was pretty good...

    Also, you nice metaphors...Nice drop, keep it up...

    Mondo Thugs l The Truth


    If I'm too simple, then you just dont get the basics.
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  3. April 28th, 2006, 06:46 PM #3
    mc pyro.
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    thx uppin some more feed
    hit up these om's wit some feed

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  4. April 28th, 2006, 06:53 PM #4
    So.Fist.Acated
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    that was a pretty decent drop... i liked the imagry, word play was nice, flow coula used some work but it was okay... rhymes were good, i would have liked to c more multis tho, i wish u had finished it before u posted, cuz i'd like to see more length to it and would like 2 c u show off ur skills more.

    so all u really have 2 work on is ur multis, but otherwise, it was pretty good

    drop some feed in my om in my sig. thanks pc
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  5. April 28th, 2006, 07:07 PM #5
    mc pyro.
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    thx uppin some feed
    hit up these om's wit some feed

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  6. April 29th, 2006, 10:58 AM #6
    mc pyro.
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    uppin some feed
    hit up these om's wit some feed

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