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Thread: Bar Wars

  1. #1
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    Bar Wars

    A contrast from Light to Dark

    The only one, none know me, solely known to some as lonely/
    Jedi skills has me known as Obi Wan Kenobi/
    Powers, no one showed me, Ive done it hundreds of times/
    They call me Tony, and I'm the only one of my kind/
    Cast out my Lightning included wit my thunderous rhymes/
    My Jedi Mind trick has you wonderin this time/
    Born a son to a woman under unsure signs/
    Path is clouded, I'm walkin under very thin lines/
    My fate is shrouded, but yours has always been mine/

    I bend minds...

    Use Force Grip, leave ya feelin like ya cant do shit son/
    Shoulda known better; like The Force is Strong in This One/
    I switch from the force to weilding my Lightsaber/
    I dont know of anything right now that might save ya/
    I aint ya Anakin, no man, I aint ya savior/
    If you followed the storyline, I have Dark Side behavior/
    I dress in all black, also known as Darth Vader/
    But I'm known to The Republic as a number one traitor/
    My Death Star destroys craters and the weak cant stand it/
    I mastermined my Empire and I'm speaking planets/
    I wander on transit and sit, and ponder how much farther/
    Before I cut off my son's hand and pronouce that "I am your Father"/
    Last edited by Daft; April 27th, 2006 at 07:42 AM Reason: to flow better

  2. #2

  3. #3
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    nice verse man...i like da shit about jedis lol nice stuff man....wos feelin it quite alot, u should try making it into audio, sure that would sound phat aswel m8!

  4. #4
    I'm Signed HeHe
    Guest
    this was quite a good piece, allthough i assume you wrote it to beat, like daddy said this would sound ite to a beat, could do with a lil better vocab but besides that it was a real nice read fo-real, i also think the title of this piece is dope, BarWars-jus sounds ite nah mean, keep it up fam,

  5. #5
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    nah man... didnt write it to beat, but i just be flowin it out loud ya feel me? to a silent beat... but good lookin out bro... ima edit a part tho to make it seem like a switch between characters...

  6. #6
    I'm Signed HeHe
    Guest
    Ite I'll Check It Out When You Edit It,

  7. #7
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    uppn

  8. #8
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  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! chitown_mex11's Avatar
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    it was good for reading, the rhyme scheme was a lil simple but it sounded good and the flow was str8, the structure was good and so was the topic so all i can tell you to improve a lil bit is the vocab, nice drop~l8er

  10. #10
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