Writers Pain.

[Poeta Demonio]

Writers Pain.

Flickering of a candle, the pen it’s bleeding… pulsating in my hand of sorrow…
Redundant to fundamental dissertations. Thesis lay silent to lips of tomorrow…
Meditation of fragment glory, residual only through lost scriptures of a fatigue…
Hard ship it lays desolate in desperate mammon… a love of riches in the sand…
Venomous nouns celebrate, carronade thy loss of life through parched can-vas…
My society of beckoning wisdom, falcate flowers a the page written we march…
From Shakespeare, Hemingway, the bohemian revolution is of age cross page…
Lessened only by disbelievers of love, freedom, the power of status unknown…
Light finds it’s home vigorously upon vapour that once tore away at my sight…
The spirits that once tormented our being, now acts as a endowment of delight.
The soul that pours carnivorous vowels…
Tempts humanity to indulge in a fight…
Jesters of the gestures of heart light…
Handled by lesser man of late…
Testaments of haggard…
Light in which…

Is…
Scared beyond belief
Under shadows, so desperate
Shadows of gathered benevolence…
Hindering grace, grace of fallen dammed…
The manuscripts that blend our hearts race…
Together in a mesh of hazy grey as we befriend end.
Sensitive genetics of yesterday’s slender, the night of man, fallen curtain upon…
Gold lace, shimmering memory of seductive felonies of fate, destiny lays solely…
With-in a grasp of sedative writer, his eyes weary with tainted belief and solace…
Face rendered blind to happiness, malice, thus animosity distant in deep sleep…
Brand a man of which broken, yet would a man smashed in sorrow drink from…
The cup of poets, in the mist in which demonstrates so gracefully it’s beauty? …
Summer day’s bloom, children fuss, fight, and light the path of future present…
In the deep dark dank sanctum of followers, sheep of the Shepard leaders cast…
Marinates as to select a new breed of creative generations, upon the pedestal…
That is intricate into tomorrow’s scripts, rendering another writers pain as one.

[Poeta Demonio]

The topical version of my poem 'writers pain'...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=282465
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=288056

[Poeta Demonio]

Okay, now i have the links, lets get some feed.

[Poeta Demonio]

There are alot of references to time in there, thus the reason i placed the structure as an hour glass

[Atti]

This was very creative. The storyline itself was average, yet you really took hold of it and selected an approach that would really make this yours. The content itself was very poetic and imaginative, I'm glad you finally started crossing over your poetry. The flow and everything was nice. Structure, at first I was pissed cuz I wanted you to cut down on your line length and I come in and see wrapped lines I was ready to kill you. But the structuring forming the hourglass was very creative and actually takes alot of control and abilities to be able to keep all the lines those lengths, especially when they start getting smaller. Uuuuum what else... I dont know, thats about it man. Again, real nice read overall. I'm really looking forward to seeing how you handle your next Om in terms of structuring. Good luck and keep elevating man.

[Poeta Demonio]

Thanks alot mate, you above all people know that means alot to me coming from you, it's been frustrating me recently that i can't seem to please you lmao... But i never really understood what you were meaning when you'd talk to me about my style untill you said 'poetry'... then i automatically grasped your meaning, and yes i will definately be transfering my poetry into topical from now on, it allows me to be alot more creative, and as you said 'origional' with my writing...

You and Bounce have helped me alot recently and i really apreciate it.

[ExPlOsIvE]

i liked the read to this piece quite alot, the type is kinda small and the lines are long buh u had reli gd creativity in it, the lfow was decent i didnt seem to have ne probs wiv it, the wrdp[lay was gd, the rimes were aight few multies here and der and u stayed on topic well wich was all ova a gd topic, i liked this piece it was very emotional and poetic, 8.5/10 or mayb 9/10 buh gd piece.
peace

[Poeta Demonio]

i liked the read to this piece quite alot, the type is kinda small and the lines are long buh u had reli gd creativity in it, the lfow was decent i didnt seem to have ne probs wiv it, the wrdp[lay was gd, the rimes were aight few multies here and der and u stayed on topic well wich was all ova a gd topic, i liked this piece it was very emotional and poetic, 8.5/10 or mayb 9/10 buh gd piece.
peace

Thanks man, i appreciate it alot.

I just visited wales like last week, Pretty nice place actually!

[MISTA GRIM]

Now-
I wanna start by sayin the hourglass structure was a phenomenal idea. I liked how you went crazy with vocab and complexity in this one..Your never short for words or imagery. Your emotion is something sweet as well.

"Sensitive genetics of yesterday’s slender, the night of man, fallen curtain upon…
Gold lace, shimmering memory of seductive felonies of fate, destiny lays solely…"
^ my fav lines...Anyone who has even the slightest knoledge of poetry can recognize that this is dope...

I think OM's should rhyme, but with a drop like this-You don't need to rhyme-
I get the point..

~Grim

[Poeta Demonio]

Now-
I wanna start by sayin the hourglass structure was a phenomenal idea. I liked how you went crazy with vocab and complexity in this one..Your never short for words or imagery. Your emotion is something sweet as well.

"Sensitive genetics of yesterday’s slender, the night of man, fallen curtain upon…
Gold lace, shimmering memory of seductive felonies of fate, destiny lays solely…"
^ my fav lines...Anyone who has even the slightest knoledge of poetry can recognize that this is dope...

I think OM's should rhyme, but with a drop like this-You don't need to rhyme-
I get the point..

~Grim

Thanks man, you know i appreciate it

[MISTA GRIM]

Ohh...and can you please leave some feed on the OM inmy sig...
For He's a Jolly Good Fellow...

Thanks
~Grim

[Poeta Demonio]

Done.

Upping for more decent feed... thank you to those who have fed so far.

[MISTA GRIM]

Hey poeta im sending you a pm, it's important so make sure you get it.......

[Poeta Demonio]

Got it...

Now can we have some more feed please ?

Thank you.

[Atti]

Now-
I wanna start by sayin the hourglass structure was a phenomenal idea. I liked how you went crazy with vocab and complexity in this one..Your never short for words or imagery. Your emotion is something sweet as well.

"Sensitive genetics of yesterday’s slender, the night of man, fallen curtain upon…
Gold lace, shimmering memory of seductive felonies of fate, destiny lays solely…"
^ my fav lines...Anyone who has even the slightest knoledge of poetry can recognize that this is dope...

I think OM's should rhyme, but with a drop like this-You don't need to rhyme-
I get the point..

~Grim

That did rhyme... It just wasn't standard end-line rhyming. Po, you've got to be more concious of your punctuation when you write like this, because the reader has to read by punctuation if you're not just rhyming the end of every line you know?