The Sunset Stands For Death

[Plain-Thug]

Sunsetting, purple and orange surrounding me from all sides.........
Way More colorful, happier, more liking than than my insides........
But the color fades, turns into dark shades, death approaches soon
Knowing that i will be dead when i see the bright shining moon
The sunset is starting..now i just wait to be killed by the assasin
My family sitting by my side..comforting me with love and passion
I never lived that long.I never got to see what i always wanted to
But that wont be happening ever cuz my life is gonna be through
No more sunsets..no happiness..no colors standing for my emotions
My mouth keeps turnin into a frown.its goes up and down like an ocean
I can't get death out of my mind..The sunset stands for death...
the colors of it will stay in my head till i say my last word and last breath
I know my love will spread untill there is none left...I hate life now.....
I will neva have a wife now.......In a matter of minutes it will be night,wow!
I should just take a knife now and stab it through my chest...........
And let my family see me rest...that would be the best..than gettin shot..
the assasin was walking up the hill..ready to kill...then he started lettin off
The gun was hidden..felt lead peirce my chest, shoulder, then the head...
next thing ya know i'm in heaven and that sign..i knew i was dead....


~The SunSet Stands for Death~

[Plain-Thug]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=285549
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=285493

[Temp Gurl]

That real deep like the word chocie and the flow of the over all thing, good job

[Plain-Thug]

thanks..uppin for more^^

[Plain-Thug]

wtf??? don't sleep on diss...i'll return the feed....

[BKPANTHA POET]

I Liked The Concept Of The Piece But Maybe A Lil Wordplay And Descriptive Words Wooda Got Me Into....not Bad Tho Keep It Up....i Know U Can Do Beta

[InfaMouzMami]

aight this was okay the wordplay and vocab wasnt all that ill over all i loved the way it flowed the title really grabbed me it was a nice piece overall feelin the whole concept real complex loved it nice job structure top knotch everything was great


hit up life or rest in peace

1... life- http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=284913
2.... Rest In Peace....- http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=284913

[Spekz]

Yes the topic was a good idea...however I think there was way more in terms of creativity, complexity, originality,imagery,emotion, wordplay, etc. you could have done to make it much more worth while. I can think of a few ways that nobody else would think of off the dome, n make it much more exciting. I felt you took the topic, n wrote about the first thing that came to mind, which is also the first thing that comes to a lot of ppls minds, for ive seen other OMs very close to this. Despite all of that, you did have some ok things, it was pretty basic wordplay,imagery,emotion..but it was still ok...

favorite lines

No more sunsets..no happiness..no colors standing for my emotions
My mouth keeps turnin into a frown.its goes up and down like an ocean



keeps writing...keep ups

pec

[Plain-Thug]

aight...thanks guyz..i really appreciate it..and i'll peep all linkz