the broken mirror (the truth)

[mc pyro.]

glass insinerated across the floor shining like suns rays or prisims
beholding in between scatterd one of them past prophets visions
an asortment of memorial photographs and future ones are takin
each containing life but degrading them as they begin to awaken
seemlessly having sacrificial nature its pitaful how it causes chokin
inquiring to the question in the first place why the mirror was broken
i pick up one of the peices it is relinquished as i feel myself fainting
my minds third eye opens up at the primary picture that im painting
then i relize its a guilty face and it's judges mysterously amboulshed
as i look out onto a captivating buety and see the earth demolished
i glance down on my arm my scratches become cuts i take the fall
if u could see into the dim shades of truth would u like what u saw?
taking the mirror with them some tiny specimens dig under surface
if everythang went perfect then please say what is lifes purpose
now glass stretching across the outliers the mirror begins to morph
bullets that were recived years ago replenish a wheatherd corpse
it is resurected back to life the mirror now stands in the line of fire
the resurected man tastes blood buts its acustemd already aquired
now people begin to relize truths secrets and flesh starts to perspire
banishing and shunning some outliers but they stand among hiddin
with no concious. soul. emotion of truth the world is sadly riddin
and the real people are not to be found they remain to be masked
and the fake ones poisining ya mind if you have ever let out a gasp
so this to some people may feel strange it is to me but its refreshing
criminals...drug dealers....hoes... they the truth so they a blessing
they may seem like they doin wrong but they go thru pain or strife
mankind smashed the mirror which retaliated and took his own life
and the rest of mankind lives paranoid with that common fear. truth
bloodlines run to deep the dam will have to break in some trees root
bursting through.. twisters arise the waters crash waves and flood
perching holding a branch from a tree i see somethin bibical a dove
relizen that its the reflection in the mirror i ponder it but aint stressin
i know the answer now but why the mirror was broken i leave u guessin

[mc pyro.]

hold on a sec for links

[mc pyro.]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...94#post4258194
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...47#post4258247

[mc pyro.]

uppin some feed

[mc pyro.]

feed on this plz

[Whyte Gunz]

It was decent lines were kinda stretched in my opinion

[mc pyro.]

thx uppin some more feed

[QuEsTsHuN]

( " "QUOTE=mc pyro.]
glass insinerated across the floor shining like suns rays or prisims
beholding in between scatterd one of them past prophets visions
an asortment of memorial photographs and future ones are takin
each containing life but degrading them as they begin to awaken) " "}

** This part was some of the most talanted rythmic word-play I've read in a while. Every single syllable has an emotion and carries you through the rest of the piece like you were almost there reading it aloud to me.

{"
taking the mirror with them some tiny specimens dig under surface
if everythang went perfect then please say what is lifes purpose
now glass stretching across the outliers the mirror begins to morph
bullets that were recived years ago replenish a wheatherd corpse
it is resurected back to life the mirror now stands in the line of fire
the resurected man tastes blood buts its acustemd already aquired"}

** This part stood out to me because you explain what happens in your created dimension. I like how you stress how ressurection from a demolished world can have an effect on the whole concept itself
("
so this to some people may feel strange it is to me but its refreshing
criminals...drug dealers....hoes... they the truth so they a blessing
they may seem like they doin wrong but they go thru pain or strife
mankind smashed the mirror which retaliated and took his own life " )

** Your reason for this piece stands out strong here. I like how you emphasize how reality is basically what it is and we should be proud of it, despite it's cruel nature.

(" "
and the rest of mankind lives paranoid with that common fear. truth
bloodlines run to deep the dam will have to break in some trees root
bursting through.. twisters arise the waters crash waves and flood
perching holding a branch from a tree i see somethin bibical a dove
relizen that its the reflection in the mirror i ponder it but aint stressin
i know the answer now but why the mirror was broken i leave u guessin[/QUOTE]

** Excellent ending for the topic, and a nice sense of accomplishment down to the last word. Hard work is admired homiE.....Big Props on the creative aspect. Keep that imagination workin, looking foreward to seeing some more craft outta you.

~1~

[mc pyro.]

thx yo uppin some more feed

[Trema]

It was decent lines were kinda stretched in my opinion

word!

The structure was a lil iffy in this piece. But you had a ok flow, your vocab was good aswell. Although i had to read this a few times to catch on i felt the flow and overall this was an ok piece. In future you need to work on your structure. piece

[mc pyro.]

thx and i'll work on that structure uppin some more feed

[mc pyro.]

uppin some feed

[emsteez forreal]

yeah, jus' like everyone said... the lines were stretched.. i looked at the verse and it looks like a wall. good vocabulary though, it reminds me of jedi mind tricks a little bit... good job of staying on subject while using vocab... idk really how to describe this style 'cause it's kinda my style too... the "it ain't hard to tell" by nas style... well i liked it, just try and shorten lines to make it more flowable.

[mc pyro.]

thx uppin some more feed

[mc pyro.]

uppin some feed