**Struggle**--DEEP

[Kspine]

Before I post the lyrics, Ima give a bit of a background to this....
For those interested Im gonna put it to audio soon
PM me for info on the beat....

LINKS
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...04#post5395804
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...07#post5395807
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...10#post5395810

Ive been lookin for a more deep approach to my lyrics and decided to write something that not only I could relate to but others could too.

The overall empasis of it is to touch on the life of a homeless teenager that seeks release through rapping and makes something of himself but, invetably, slips off the charts and ends up better off than he was. However, with a second chance, he regains his stardom and reaches as high as he goes, sacrificing all that he has made until he ends up back where he started, the street.

Its about the appeal of the rap industry and its toxicating effects on a young mans mind who cant fight his addiction...


[CHORUS]

its a struggle for my hands as i struggle to my feet
but I struggle to see, how its all gonna end for me
the fame and the infamy, the pain and the misory
debate whatch get from me as I struggle to my feet

[VERSE 1]

its a struggle in this world when your born without a mother
but your father wastn't there and you never knew ya brother
but ya bothered by your life and ya gotta get it right
gotta find out ya past and set ya future right
cause the pains and the struggles of your past are makin troubles
man the gutters middle class and your crawlin in the rubble
never every had a penny had to work for whatchu got
whatchin everybody else sit back and make a mock-ery
of what you be, im tellin you this blood you bleed, its nothin please
you live with ease take a minute please to see the misories
of breakin free and livin deep an emcee livin in a rubbish heap
writing beats just to keep his very own sanity
so he picks up the mic and he put his fears aside
and he breaks out the fire and kicks up a hype
people scream in the crowd and he feels so alive
[cant take away this cant take away his pride]

chorus x 2

[VERSE 2]

hes been livin so far and survived an intervention
all his friend have been to see him and bought his own records
now their sayin in his weigh in hes a saint of the street
hes the hope of the future and a reason to sleep
hes been winning and grining as he betters the best
never been defeated and hes feels ahead of the rest
now hes got records sellin and hes rakin it in
hes tellin all of his friends but hes mistaken and in
one moment one verse his voice could never solve it
his words could never hold it his beats just keep disolvin and
breakin apart in front of all his fans and other artists
his fatgher comes back to father and walks into disasters
of managimous proportions think about it harder
you cant be a hit forever you gotta level the market
gotta sove it, gotta hope it never regret your stardom
just keep on makin beats and forget you hit the bottom

chorus x 2

[VERSE 3]

now hes sittin on the couch and hes whatchin TV
and hes flickin through the channels and who does he see
that aint me, it cant be he was told that he wouldnt make it
but hes facin images that make it basic knowledge that hes
real and facing solid problems and hes fallin and
hes back and droppin bombs and hes solvin all his problems
but hes back and beating artists and revesing defeat
startin from the bottom without a hearse at his feet
getting back up on the ladder with a number one hit
god gave a second chance no way hes gonna miss
the chance to make it best and have it all again
but the end sadly came around again and then
friends saw the end of him as a friend and
distanced themselves from havin any thing
to do with the man thats riddled with defeat
haunting alleyways and living in the streets

chorus x 2

[VERSE 4]

its a struggle in this world when your born without a mother
but your father wastn't there and you never knew ya brother
but ya bothered by your life and ya gotta get it right
gotta find out ya past and set ya future right
cause the pains and the struggles of your past are makin troubles
man the gutters middle class and your crawlin in the rubble
never every had a penny had to work for whatchu got
whatchin everybody else sit back and make a mock-ery
of what you be, im tellin you this blood you bleed, its nothin please
you live with ease take a minute please to see the misories
of breakin free and livin deep an emcee livin in a rubbish heap
writing beats just to keep his very own sanity
so he picks up the mic and he put his fears aside
and he breaks out the fire and kicks up a hype
people scream in the crowd and he feels so alive
[cant take away this cant take away his pride]

[Kspine]

wtf,...... uppin

[Nguyen]

well the emotion was there...how you described the person's struggle. You described it in real good words. However, you can improve by using advanced vocab words, and promoting imagry by use of metaphors and smilies, or maybe wordplay smilies.

But he emotion was there, I could feel it in ya work. And to increase flow, use multis, and different multi schemes to make it ryhme better. You had the emotion b/c you described his bad situations. You can go deeper by saying how this person feels and their thought processes and such. And when you describe it, SHOW the reader, not tell in the words. You ned to let your heart speak when creating emotion instead of your mind. And dont have a little introduction explaning what the whole story was about b/c that ruins it for the reader. LEt them find out thru your piece. When you write, think of the reader and how your piece will appeal to them. Do tihs by writing your piece, thne reading it a few hours later to see what the reader would see in it and to see if theres any revisions tha tneed to be made. Topicals arent really supposed to be keystyles, on battle verses are. And all novelists revise their work, and so should you on topicals.

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