Julius Ceaser. (PB) vs. El Poeta (SC)

[Cody Nash]

Scytsophrenia vs. Pandoras Box

Topical Battle, Rules:

22 line minimum with a 36 line max
i will pick 10 topics off the top of
the dome! and you guys will pick one
each to write on. Check ins due
by Tuesday, verse due Sunday
Good luck, and may the best crew win ..

Topics:

1. It's Beyond a Dream
2. The Death of Talent
3. Remember When ...
4. Intellectual Individual
5. Still Not Listening ...
6. Dreadfull Family Fueds
7. Who was that Last night?
8. There's Tears, but i'm not Crying
9. The Deffinition of Love
10. Pick your own if mine suck that bad

Good luck Men.

[Julius Caesar]

Fuck writing the same Topic. El Poeta, you pick one and I'll pick a different one, only if you pick the Topic that I'm interested in.

Check.

[Poeta Demonio]

10. I'll write my own.

Check.

[Poeta Demonio]

http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...eta101/ray.jpg


Death of talent- Ray Charles

Black pioneer:
Songs of freedom, bleed them, to a nation of racists, displaced faces
Left in awe, as a door, led a man of god to strange unknown places
Traces, of excellence bled from a mind of elegance…and intelligence
Bypassed irrelevant messages, and brought truth, from warped youths
Created original material, mixing elements combined blues n’ eloquence
Celebrated evidence, of black power, God as a steam to power a dream…

Man behind the genius:
Penetrated veins, bliss heroin manifests a genius into a shaking mess
Meshed brilliance with a future of only a heart mistaken vacant death
Father, husband of beautiful wife, yet a merchant of a wasted life, price
To pay for fame, money & became a victim of the demonic party night life
Pain and strife, was on the cards for him, dark and grim, a dim light of hope
Directed him to rehab where he’d learn to cope, without the dope bliss
Pick up on a section of life that he’d so scornfully missed, a twist of fate
Brisk change, time to concentrate, on getting straight, adding excess weight
To pressure ready to burst and break, shake, the formation of a man
Patience took a stand, held him together, if only he could have been that
Perfect family man. Distinct, distant, decent of relentless views
Determined to view a crack abused addict, black manic, depressant lose
But time changed, he became sane instead of deranged former nothingness
None-the –less, he grew old as infamous legend, the message he was spreading
Became the same views as the youth share today, the beauty he was pledging.

Goodbye Mr Charles
Thursday June 10, 2004… a writer passed of acute liver disease
Withered and old, a beautiful existence now shivered like rotting leaves
Besotted with blossomed words, songs remind us of his being
He’s gone, but no more turmoil, finally he can end his soul weeping
Sleeping, forever in peace, venomous streets, behind sedative priests
We remain to preach… that ray will forever be remembered
As the man who could so delicately teach…




‘Charles died from acute liver disease Thursday June 10, 2004. He was 73. He left behind a long list of hits and Grammy awards and the musicians he influenced are as diverse in genre as the music he wrote, arranged, performed and recorded.’

[Julius Caesar]

Fuck, Just seen this. Give me time, around 11 AM, in the morning. Cool>?............................

[Julius Caesar]

Eastern Time.............................................. .................................................. ........

[Julius Caesar]

There's tears, but I'm not crying:

she writes her name on the dotted line-feeling not fine,
a doctor comes from behind and says "honey its time"
Ask yourself, what's the point of givng a life and taking it
legal should be illegal, do you know its murder you've just commited?
she won't be serving life behind bars-but serving regret & torment,
waking up in the middle of nights-feeling the sting emotional hornets.
Everyday she'll catch a cold heart-ache and a crucial moment,
flashbacks turning her stomach inside-out. A event she'll never forget,
the starting point is when she laid on her back, lights in her eyes
knowing that she's not the one who's going to heaven up in the sky.
I'm curious, I'm the narrator of this piece. What's the background?
In her bedroom along with the love of her love. *smack* "Do it now!"
A abrasion shows on the side of her face.she does it with no hesitation
feeling an abudant of regret on this aguish sexual love temptation.
Mother nature displays her tears on this-Cold hard rain falls from outside,
she watches from above as this child is being forced to lose her pride.
"Oh my god Please don't"-Too late. Already filled the holes inside her cave.
After a few days when she told him the news-"Fuck you"...He ran away.
Which brings me back to this. Scapel in hand-sharpened up, ready to cut
the skin of life and take out the nourishment and squash the nut.
There's tears but I'm not crying. It runs down on the pale face of a child,
little eyes that seeks destiny and a little soul that burns wisdom as a blazing fire.
My arms feeling so empty but like a ghost I still feel my son presence,
christmas has come early and I just gave away a special present
A mistletoe stays under me as I'm forever kissing the wetness of persecution,
ribbon stay stamp on my heart as It pinches the feeling of execution
"Oh thank you". Take care of a child that has been forced in me?..No.
So I gave it someone with kindness and care to give this child a chance of hope.
But the feeling of me-giving someone my own son- its something I can't cope.
Lets look on the brightside- As I'm walking out the hospital-we both are going home.


GoodLuck.

[Poeta Demonio]

Okay, good piece man, lets get some votes and all that jazz.

[Richard Parker]

I`m not going to vote . . It seems like a shame to vote on two pieces as different but well spoken as these. El Poeta .. I think you have a unique rhythm to your piece that set the tone nicely. . I hate to focus on rhyming but I like how you rhymed throughout, not the typical scheme that most people use. The content and word choice was also superb. Julius - sometimes in your piece I didn't realize what you were going with it .. But other parts were excellent .. My favorite part was the two lines "face of a child -to- blazing fire" .. anyway nice job guys, if anyone wants to vote on this link and has 1000 posts go ahead, if not thats cool too
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...6&page=1&pp=15

[Cody Nash]

Poeta - dope verse. everything about it was hott ..a couple edgy points on the flow of things, but that's probably because it's a different style than most. really great choice on a person. Ray Charles is a dope thing to write on although you didn't mention every aspect of the man that was great, you still included the emotion of his career and gave the pros of him over the cons. good job.

Julius - now, your piece made this battle a VERY hard one to judge. two completely different styles, two completely different pieces, julius with reality and imagry, and poeta with emotion and soul. You went and made a collision course between the two well known styles in the OM section of this site. and a very good piece in that collision at that. you have done exactly what i wanted and made this a VERY complicated decision for the people. great piece.

Good luck to the both of you, just me perspective on the battle. Great reads ...

[Poeta Demonio]

Upping.

C'mon people....

[Julius Caesar]

It was all a dream I said,
JC a Voice said..Uppin 1 I said

....................................

[Ace of Aces]

this battle is dope...so vote

[Facts Machine]

El Poeta:
I liked your concept and rhymescheme... you managed to give good imagery/story-line while keeping the rhymescheme complex/above average... so well done on this... the emotion was felt and i felt a very hip-hopish vibe from it cuz ray charles music pretty much links to hip-hop with the jazz and stuff. So yeah good inspirational type shit.

Julius Ceaser:
I liked the story-line and how you approached it. your rhymescheme was decent, a lot of the rhymes were weak and i didn't see complexity in them which shows you didn't manage to make it flow to make it a smoother read... the imagery was cool, nothing too detailed. This was just alright to me and at least you kept it original. I think ive seen much better from u tho.

v/El Poeta.

[Poeta Demonio]

Upping number 2......