| a visit |

[serpent dove]

First time here.

not elementary, but schooled and heaven sent me
any mending - i do - will diffuse - like scent of Nestles
so bite this bar - by the bar, don't you worry why I am armed
now I'm the guy in charge
surprise the stars - with light tommor', "hi, I'm hard
as hell, but soft spoken, diamond heart"
tonight we part, like i made you let yer herr down
you'll like your start, when i take you in the first round
blindin spark, don't make me take you with the first round
I don't spike twice, spike bites, I'll dog a girl out
nah, I'm cool, dry wit is dry ice
try this and try life, yer irus is my nightlife
quite right, like Bush, i don't push, my look - says it all
but why lie? i stood, and took - my foot - off your jaw...

thank you.

SD

[White Dice]

Creativity: On yo creativity I'll give you a 7/10. Because it seemed like you were just sayin things to make it rhyme.
What did i like: I liked your wordplay. but besides that you need to improve. but for your first rap it was allright.
What did i hate: I hated the fact that you were just adding words that rhymed:
How you can improve: Add rhyming words that actually make sense.
Overall: i give it 6/10.

[Spoken]

sick... good rhymes... nice vocab, hard to understand what the concept is... but for a freestyle it'd be nice...

7.5/10 stay up homie

[GrimmyReaps]

it was good but u need 2 links and to add some lines u need at least 16 lines homie u only have 14...