Nature

[envision]

From the titanic corners of the 4 seas comes a growing gust of wind
It whirls and whisks, twists and twirls, like a dancing devil in the cool midnight fog.
Till thesea itself can no longer embrace it.
The sky, so dark and dim, is inseparable from the waters
Then, out comes the sun!
Arising from above blue clouds
Its luminous beams reach far, far out
On to the tops of the highest peaks
Where emerald flowers bloom, delicate to the touch
yet never to be discovered by man’s sinister hand,
in the sanctuary of sanctuaries

[This Aint Beef]

I really liked the imagery you used in this. The images you painted were clear and gave me a precise idea of what you were saying. Truly liked your choice of words as well, very decsriptive.

From the titanic corners of the 4 seas comes a gushing wind
It whirls and whisks, twists and twirls
^ Liked the personification used in these two lines

Where emerald flowers bloom, delicate to the touch
yet never to be discovered by man’s sinister hand,
^ Felt how you set this one up especially. Describing the delicate feel of this flower and how the sinister man will never experience it.

Keep writing.

[envision]

thanks for the indepth reply.

[TProphet]

Yeah nice imagery, but your lines didnt really
stand out to me very much
Some nice vocabulary, and description
But didnt really leave me with a great impresion
afterwards because i feel you could have made
it longer and elaborated alot more.. keep writing

[envision]

thanks for the feed