Back in the day

[O'rigi]

I remember back in the day when it was an actual art to rip
But nowadayz people get paid to rap about what you can't get
Nelly's song "Grillz" I can never afford to buy that gliss
I'm still wearing them $1.99 watches around my skinny wrist
When you rhyming a hot beat get you blown up quick
Like you riding the clutch cuz you don't know how to shift
Back then you could pull a broad in a busted up whip
Nowadayz a kid like me would neva ever attempt that trick
Pull up in a gremlin and all the people gonna hike on you
To the folks on the net watch what one month can do
To you, this 2006 time to start off the year brand new
Crone like screwed and chopped is the stuff erebody on ohh

Back in the day I was younger now I'm taking you on
Crone is back and his talents is stronger
Back in the day I was younger now I'm taking you on
Now my lyrics gonna trickle down yonder
Back in the day I was younger now I'm taking you on
Now on the rap thang I must wander
Back in the day I was younger now I'm taking you on
Sit still why the badboy stomps ya

I took the hook from an old song and made mine whodi ouch

[2_sides_of_life]

Average... Nice story but no multis.

[Mag...]

not a bad topic... i actually dropped something similar... but this lacks a tonne of elements...

as mentioned no multies... but i don't care so much if it phrased smoothly... but it didn't and that was the biggest difficulty in reading this, your lines are really awkward and stretched... this doesn't look like you could actually spit it and make it sound good... you could have salvaged a bit more out of this if you're rhymes were a bit more decisive, but you choose to be sloppy, probably expecting a heavy accent will make it sound ok... well don't settle for ok, use that accent on last resort, work harder at creating a strong rhyme base, i'm serious, that's what you mean when you say 'back in the day it was an actual art to rip'

this is poetry man... treat it such and you'll find greater rewards in lining up your facts in a tight cohesive mesh of rhymes...

keep working
pz

[O'rigi]

Thanx 4 da feedback