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Thread: Ash

  1. #1
    Electronic Faith 101's Avatar
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    Ash

    Ash

    The white house down the street, white rock wall enclosed, 234 kuliouou road
    Where good and bad time’s were shared, demonic spirits cause the inside to explode
    Bared through storms, world wars, battles and now the downfall of the tears cried
    Been witness to rape, murder, sin, and the death of the keeper where he resided and died
    Cause of his death no one can ponder the thought but only bear to witness god knows
    Why all of this has happen, Gods angels flow away yet leaving the evil to overflow
    What has been left over from generations, behold the keeper, it is not ones fault
    But the only man left, the lord can stop the rage and bring this rampage to a hault
    But too many tears and lives have been shed, wounds covered to heal with salt
    This is a time for battle to protect my blood line, now this evil I shall exult
    Now as I walk down the halls, the echo’s of satins children shout and jeer
    While I stand strong wit my rod I hear the stern voice of him in my ear
    He tells me “to fear no evil for he is wit me, my rod and thy staff the comfort me”
    The I realize that its so plane to see that the way I can stop the rage is to hunt the ( said wit long E)
    I raise my sword in battle stance and thrust to thy opponent triumphantly
    I stop and kneel down and remove my chain and read out loud the rosary
    Finally realizing that the only way a man can defeat a God as 1/8th
    Is to defeat them wit the only thing that is pure to me, I kept my faith
    As I read the prayers aloud the evil sprits souls starts to burn and deplete
    I rise to my feat knowing that their powers against my strength can’t compete
    I watch his body fall and slowly turn its liquid only to end up badgered and mash
    I know I must start over with what the keeper has left, his body full of ash
    HollyHood

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Fresh101's Avatar
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    Tight Give Ya A 9
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php/its-alive-356519.html[/url]

  3. #3

  4. #4
    Banned iceberg's Avatar
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    that was great lines yo u got spark and ue put standing i give it a 10-10

  5. #5
    Smoker The Joker
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    10/10
    from herbs don't count
    it was good but u always coping my style be originial.
    i don't understand the topic tho it was more of thrown together random lines. idk
    work on it. oh yeah don't coppy the lord twizted's style of writting
    Juan

  6. #6
    Electronic Faith 101's Avatar
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    hahahahahahhahahahahahahhaahahha asshole lol
    nah nah nah
    dont be mad just cuz the laboror went under hahah jk
    HollyHood

  7. #7
    Smoker The Joker
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    bitch look u critiqued u
    herb
    and herb
    and me

    u can't even compare the larborer to this for my skill is above urs. remember im doper

    and don't copy with saying werd and hahahahahahahaahahah
    Juan

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! 2_sides_of_life's Avatar
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    This was pretty weak... Imagery is ok but your lines were long as shit and the rhyming was simple.

  9. #9
    Electronic Faith 101's Avatar
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    uppin
    HollyHood

  10. #10
    Redwood Ryan's Avatar
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    Good Job

    thats wat i like to see outta a crew member...good job Faith...shit was dope an i felt alotta emotion in that shit...you should try puttin it to tha Cam'Ron "Oh Boy" beat...worked pretty good for me...
    9/10

    stay up mayne

  11. #11
    Electronic Faith 101's Avatar
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    aight thank u man
    ne one else?
    final up
    HollyHood

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! thewordsmith's Avatar
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    What has been left over from generations, behold the keeper, it is not ones fault
    But the only man left, the lord can stop the rage and bring this rampage to a hault

    there sum deep linez them dawg good shit could improve on ye wordplay but who dunt
    need 2 it had good flow good struc and the storyline waz good ye liked tha peace
    I giv it 8 an half outa 10
    ppl I beat
    DMV
    Vicmic
    thechosen1
    sinematic
    Illwordsmith aka BrEEz 5-0
    ppl who beat me
    percept
    code red
    tae profit


    these battlez need 2 be close
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    me vs kc/hr

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