586: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art: Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete: Any computer you own.
Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
Hard Drive: The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.
GUI (pronounced "gooey"): What your computer becomes after spilling your pop on it.
Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse: An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy: The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer: A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash: A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
System Update: A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.
Modding: When you try to figure out how the cords connect to the computer. (*)
CP-U: What will happen to U when you find out how much it really costs. (*)
RAM: What others will call you when they find out that you have been fooled by the result of a Hard Drive. (*)
Software: All cushions and protecting surfaces attached to any surface surrounding your computer protecting you from the hard impact that your head will do against mentioned surfaces. (*)
404 or Page Not Found: When you don't find those important pages in your manual explaining how to set up your State-of-the-art-soon-to-be-Obsolete computer or your newly aquired applications. (*)
Illegal Operation: The action you must take to put your hands on that State-of-the-art equipment you want. (*)
Program: What you have to do to get rid of the consequences of Illegal Operation. (*)
Shut Down (also called Shut Up): What you hear from behind when you are doing Program. (*)
Application: What you will do TO the computer after you realize that it is too complicated for you. (*)
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