Patiently Waiting...

[aLeXiO]

I've Been Patiently Waiting For My LIfe To Become Whole,
I've Been Waiting In Darkness And It's Takin' My Soul,
And I Dunno How I'm Gonna Keep My life Together,
I've Been Writing So Long It Seems Like Forever,
And I Endevour That I'm An Aussie Girl,
Writin' The Shit That I Dream And Writing 'Bout This Cruel World,
And I'm Heard And I'm Gonna Make It Out There,
Coz I got The Potential For The Hip-Hop Atmosphere,
But It's Dear And Will Cost You Alot Of Your Life,
Born With Ambition I cut Through Like A Knife,
I Double My Dreams But My Pain Is Twice,
Coz I Haven't Made It yet But It Would Be Nice,
I Know That You Can Do It Put Your Mind To Work,
Stop Walking In The Shadows Coz Thats Where You Lurk,
And Your A Jerk If You Give Up And Musics Your Life,
Coz One Day You'll Wake Up With Nothin' But A Knife,
And You Will Slice Your Way Through If You Just Keep On Scribin'
You'll Get Faster And Faster Like A Bolt Of Lightnin',
And Decidin' Is Hard If It's Between School And Music,
Coz What If You Quit School But You Can't Do It,
But Prove It To Yourself And Stick It Out To The End,
I Know Lifes Hard When Your Not Supported By Friends,
But Everything In Life Has A Means To It's Ends,
Get A Clean Peice Of Paper And Write With The Pen In Your Hand,
Coz I Understand And I'm Gonna Push You Through,
Don't Tell Me I Don't Understand Coz You Know I Do,
But If You Make It Through I Got Something To Do,
I'm Gonna Dedicate My Song And Life To You.

xox~ Shorty7

[aLeXiO]

This Is Stuff I've Writin' When My Life Has Turned To Shit But my Favourite one Of Mine Is "I Need Him..." It's About My Ex-Lover And Ex-Boyfriend Who hailed From NZ And Broke Up With me Because of My Now Non-Existing Drug Habit Give It A Read It Has Alot Of Soul.

[Sh0rTy_s0_Pr0Pa]

fr0m 0ne sh0rty t0 an0ther, its tight. well written and fr0m the heart. pr0pz ma

[Sh0rTy_s0_Pr0Pa]

been thr0ugh a l0t ma..i feel u 0n that 0ne

[aLeXiO]

thanks Heaps It Really Did Come From The Heart

[Sh0rTy_s0_Pr0Pa]

i feel u 0n that. ur very mature ab0ut it t0o.

[aLeXiO]

I'm mature oh yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nib Oswald]

Well, well, I can see you're a Scribe fan. This was well written for your age, with a nice mood and flow throughout. The internal rhyming from one line to the next was also nice, good work there.

Next time I'd type without all the capital letters, as they make you sentences cluttery and difficult to read.

[TProphet]

Capitals didnt help this atall.. whilst its normally the content of the piece that should be judged.. presentation can be a pieces downfall if itsnot done right.. just made it harder to read in my opinion...
But...

Apart from that your rhyming was probaly your stongest point
There was a few bland lines .. but overall a solid read..Keep writing

[Sh0rTy_s0_Pr0Pa]

I'm mature oh yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha yea and i agree all shortys are the best

[xfreedomx]

... I liked it

[aLeXiO]

Thanks heaps guyz i think im okay but i cud really use a few pointers feel free too add me cassgirl_94@hotmail.com