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Thread: Portrait Soul ft. Kaotic. Thoery

  1. #1
     
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    Portrait Soul ft. Kaotic. Thoery

    Portrait Soul


    An emotional argument
    a child at war
    who has fallen harder then
    ever before.


    A lonely soul
    who's heart is torn
    growing up cold
    while left to mourn.


    As sad as it sounds
    the youth is fading
    deamons releasing rounds
    while siblings were playing.


    At the end of the day
    another family grieved
    horrified of the way
    the generation sees or believe.


    Blue

    Inquiry of Sorrow ,
    bestowed upon me.
    Incapable of happiness,
    Always seem lonely.

    Red
    Filled with fury,
    anger overcomes thee.
    Becoming very Unstable,
    Mentally and Emotionally.

    Gray

    Insecure and certifiable,
    demons lurk inside.
    Voices preaching evil,
    Tainted to obide.

    Gold

    Living in infamy,
    defeat all fears.
    Know no agony,
    shed joy's tears.

    A Written Voices Collaberation.


    Italics = Kaotic. Theory
    Normal Font = ~WhiteOut~
    Last edited by ~WhiteOut~; December 18th, 2005 at 11:18 PM
    Roc-A-Fella !

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Needs a Name Change.
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    upping this for some feed back

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    Bumpin this motha fucka
    Roc-A-Fella !

  5. #5
    Mikey B
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    damn this tight-u had imagery,vocab there's really nuttin i could say-only that it could be longer anywayz -hott-

  6. #6
     
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    lets up this for heavens sakes....
    Roc-A-Fella !

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! thewordsmith's Avatar
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    some good barz there nice flow and the story of it was good awell
    like the way it was set out easy on the eye 1 of the best I've read tonight
    tha so good on ye both lol peace
    ppl I beat
    DMV
    Vicmic
    thechosen1
    sinematic
    Illwordsmith aka BrEEz 5-0
    ppl who beat me
    percept
    code red
    tae profit


    these battlez need 2 be close
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    me vs kc/hr

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  8. #8
    Banned SIX6's Avatar
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    this piece was good............
    the thing i favored the most in this piece was the concept. it was real clear, very understandable. the structure was str8,very good imagry, and the vocab was nice as well........8/10
    fams can you drop some feed in my PS, called Conceptz of image in my sig

    Word^

  9. #9
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    Awards PC HOF OM HOF
    ayo upping this colabo!
    AI

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  10. #10
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    upping this for better feed.
    AI

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  11. #11
    Ownin Niggas
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    Nice piece here fam...

    KT- its good that yours went first because it wouldnt have fit right if whites went first... alright your first stanza started off good... than your second stanza starts to pick up with the imagery and the third really shows the emotion... your last stanza was alright but not as good as your middle ones... but all round nice piece...

    White-I take it that blue is supposed to be depressed and stuck in the state of sarrow and selfdwelling
    Red is for anger and unstability... gray i feel is supposed to be showing all of the problems(demons that it has been trying to hide... and gold is supposed to have concored all of them and overcome everything... this wasnt that bad of a collab i really enjoyed it... nice imagery and everything...


    If you could can you hit up the piece in my sig... its being slept on
    1XPSHOF

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    3x KLL HW Champ
    4x HW Punchline Champ


    Poetic Paradox

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! A.O.D's Avatar
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    Ok gentlemen lol... it wasn't so shabby, first and foremost give yourself a pat on the back... now that I'm done b/s'n heres my two cents lol


    K- I like your style you had good imagery in this one and it tells a story, short but sweet.
    As sad as it sounds
    the youth is fading
    deamons releasing rounds
    while siblings were playing
    ^^ my favorite part of your verse, it just seems to explain alot more than the words detail...

    W- I like the way you showed your verse, with the different colors to express the different emotions, you also had good imagery and all that pretty stuff. But most of all the point was made.
    Insecure and certifiable,
    demons lurk inside.
    Voices preaching evil,
    Tainted to obide.
    ^^ My favorite verse from you... its the part that seems to make this story go from "ehh" to worse....


    Overall I think it was most def some nice work from the both of you I think the verses should have probably blended together a little more than they did. It was like the story started then ended then started back up again if that makes any sense at all...
    I'm not back...I'm simply bored out of my mind.
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  13. #13
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Little Voices's Avatar
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    this piece was good............
    the concept was creative. it was well writtn and very understandable.
    the structure was str8 and so was flow....
    very good imagry, and the vocab was nice as well........
    stay at it

    peace
    Little Voices

    Battles won :

    (5-0)
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    (5-1)
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    Battles lost :

    (4-5)
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    __________________________________________
    OPEN MIC

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  14. #14
     
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    Quote Originally Posted by A.O.D
    Ok gentlemen lol... it wasn't so shabby, first and foremost give yourself a pat on the back... now that I'm done b/s'n heres my two cents lol


    K- I like your style you had good imagery in this one and it tells a story, short but sweet.

    ^^ my favorite part of your verse, it just seems to explain alot more than the words detail...

    W- I like the way you showed your verse, with the different colors to express the different emotions, you also had good imagery and all that pretty stuff. But most of all the point was made.

    ^^ My favorite verse from you... its the part that seems to make this story go from "ehh" to worse....


    Overall I think it was most def some nice work from the both of you I think the verses should have probably blended together a little more than they did. It was like the story started then ended then started back up again if that makes any sense at all...
    Now there is some good feed... Thanks man.
    Roc-A-Fella !

  15. #15
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    wow....gawd damn this was good fa real....

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