Stop Hatin'

[-Vital-]

Im gettin tierd of all this hatin' an no elevatin.......
Its like you dissin so bad, you workin for satin.......
Hommies cant stop, the verses from other members......
So just apreciate, and get over it, quit bein a nigger......*
Im doin this for my crew, along with every thing i do.......
Cuz ima cook ya, roast ya, an eat you like beef stew.......
What you didnt know? Man I thought you already knew.....
Im goin undefeated, and most of yall cant stop me......
Except for the elite,but I still got ganstas that cant top me.....
Im only sixteen, but my rymes are pretty clean......
Killin hommies that dumb as fuck, and work at burger king.....**
Dont hate, apreciate, thats a sayin thats true......
They hatin', they dont know, dont have a clue......
Hatin is dick ridin, beefin, and talkin shit......
Its a pain in the ass, so please try to stop it.....
Yall homies that know me, come on and represent......
Lets go light up haters like paper, and campers with flint.....

*= not being racist, just a ignorant person
**=Burger king is really dirty down here, they got closed because they didnt pass the sanatary test


Just place feedback please.

[LadyDip*Harlem]

i liked ya flow and structure...vocab was pretty decent. i was feelin it no doubt. so true.

[rbkilla]

i liked ya flow it was tight

[-Vital-]

thanks....

[Lauren.]

flow wuz pretty good, message wuz aiight, try 2 rhyme more den 1 syllable tho, n dun force tha rhymin, but overall an aiight drop

[Poeta Demonio]

blah...it was good...but to me it was too basic...even the vocab was basic...you shouldn't use really big words just to fill up a verse but mearly just put them evenly to make the pice stand out...but what you did was just basic vocab...which is also begginer style...

no hating on this though...all im saying is i would have like to see you put better vocab and more depth and imagery into th pice...because it was almost like you wern't feeling what you were writting...just words.

but keep up...and so far you have had good feed...so don't be fased by a single negative comment...just my opinion.

pz.

[-Vital-]

thanks anyways uppin for feedback

[-Vital-]

uppin for feed

[Perpetual]

horrible rhyme scheme, step your game up

jsut keep on writing

[-Vital-]

oh well, thanks for feed anyways..... uppin

['M'ind'C'raze]

like Fiyashawty said, try to use bigga rhyming words, but it was pretty good stuff man, keep writing to improve it overall,
but i can see you dont need advice on ya flow, good shit mayn

flow flow flowwwww

[-Vital-]

thanks forr the feed. uppin

[-Vital-]

no more feed??

[Po']

Well man, I dont know what to say really.

I thought this was going to be a good, decent peice that I would enjoy, and it ended up that it just wasnt enjoyable at all, sorry lol. First, your concept, or topic is gay as hell, "stop hatin'" then dont make dumb, whack OM's like this, and nobody will hate, your rhyme shceme was terrible, I meen, there so simplistic, the rhymes and words, both, no real multies here, and when there were, they werre choppy, flow was alright actually.

Overall, this peice wasnt very good, nore enjoyable to read, but hey man, everybodys got to start somewhere, dont let this discourage you, keep on a writing, you'll get good.

Keep it up.

[-Vital-]

thanks any ways last upp for feed