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Thread: When I'm Gone Remix (Same Chorus)

  1. #1
    Soule
    Guest

    When I'm Gone Remix (Same Chorus)

    Have you ever loved some one enough to risk your life?
    I have and it is the best thing ever to happen in life.
    Listened to Shady on the radio and heard a great song.
    He wasn't singing about war or drugs nor a bong.
    He was singing about his daughter, made me drop in tears.
    Knowing that mine is gone to a better place, and here came back my fears.
    He is so succeful yet his life is so sad.
    Being a rapping father, more time singing less time being a dad.
    And i swear it sounds like me, its weird but my life went away in a flash.
    My life was gone, with my daughter in a flash.

    And when I'm gone
    Just carry on
    Don't mourn, rejoice everytime you hear the sound of my voice
    Just know that
    I'm lookin down on you smilin
    And I didn't feel a thing
    So baby, don't feel no pain
    Just smile back

    Tears running down my dead corpse, life is done tolate to take everything.
    Yet i'm in blood, i'v been shot yet no one cares about a king.
    Why does this world have so much hate, it is just plain overweight.
    Life isn't fair can't you tell. the shittyest thing to do is merder.
    Cuz god don't want to see that shit neither do i.
    That is why i didn't pull the trigger, but that dude shot me fuckin fly.
    But life is great im with my baby girl and my girl piece of turd (LOL)
    And now i have to say this and it is the truth. FUCK THE WORLD!

    And when I'm gone
    Just carry on
    Don't mourn, rejoice everytime you hear the sound of my voice
    Just know that
    I'm lookin down on you smilin
    And I didn't feel a thing
    So baby, don't feel no pain
    Just smile back

  2. #2
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Wa.
    Age
    33
    Posts
    446
    Battle Record
    6-4
    At Least U Didnt Bite Tha Verse

    http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=216050
    But Yea Topic Bitten....But I Aint Complainin

  3. #3
    Soule
    Guest
    uppin......................

  4. #4
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    In Your Head
    Posts
    26,914
    Battle Record
    242-30
    Awards LLL HOF PS Champion/IE Champion Legendary OM Legendary Member SS Season Champion SS HW Champion OM HOF FL Champion 200+ Wins Haiku Season Champion
    Good Job Thug...your starting to be more original and less biting your verses. Way to try! Keep up the change and you'll learn how the site really operates...as you get older you'll understand the vocabulary and wordplay you need to create a tiight verse... This was a little basic but really really good for your level, try not rhyming the same words with eachother anymore though...Like "Life & Life"...lol, keep up the good work,

    ~Nash

  5. #5
    Soule
    Guest
    Thanks homie.
    Uppin..............

  6. #6
    Soule
    Guest
    uppin................

  7. #7
    lyrical messiah
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    tennessee
    Age
    36
    Posts
    811
    Battle Record
    1-3
    nice job dawg keep at it homie

  8. #8
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Age
    31
    Posts
    180
    Battle Record
    1-2
    Word Nice Verse

  9. #9
    Soule
    Guest
    thanx homies
    Uppin......................

  10. #10
    Soule
    Guest
    uppin.................

  11. #11
    Soule
    Guest
    uppin.......................

  12. #12
    Soule
    Guest
    uppin................................

  13. #13
    Let's hug it out, bitch Ari Gold's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Age
    35
    Posts
    1,033
    Battle Record
    14-7
    its alright, not many great lines there but i do see lots of potential. Would sound pretty good in audio, but since its a text, u didnt have enough metaphors and stuff, u know what i mean?

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=256133
    ^ Leave feed plz

  14. #14
    Soule
    Guest
    aiight will do.
    uppin.............................

  15. #15
    Soule
    Guest
    uppin.................

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