criticize this countryboy

[countryboy]

(dude told me to spit bout where im from) kansas..motha fucking 785/ come up here disrepecting ya gonna die/ we dont take shit here/ and we defintly dont fear/ we might not be as big as the bronx/ but we still aint no punks/ we straight repp out place/ so dont say shit..or ya gonna know how a bullet taste

(just spitting) well/ hell/ we will see who is lame/ when im the who gonna blow up in fame/ and you aint got no game/ im gonna be on the hall of fame/ while your taking the walk of shame/ right off the stage/ filled with rage/ cause you just got your ass handed to you in buy a cracka/ and your jealous since your flows is way whacka/ and your talking this smack/ but you need to figure out that skills your lack/ before your ass gets clapped/ and fucking tore up/ so quit getting your hopes up/ cause when you battle me your going down/ and im getting the fucking crown

[countryboy]

???

[Ra-Phanes]

Na dawg aint feeling it. Ya need to up ya complexity. Make ya rhymes mo complexed they too basic. I also suggest you change your structure as its all over the place

you should set ya first paragraph out like this:

up here disrepecting ya gonna die
we dont take shit here/ and we defintly dont fear
we might not be as big as the bronx
but we still aint no punks
we straight repp out place

it is more easier to read. keep at it tho man youll get better

[<Supreme>]

sort it out, then more ppl will bother readin it
everythin ws too simple
no imagery
didnt feel it countryboy
u need leave links aswell
and u need leave tht shit at home
and u shud giv a fuck
if u carry on producin shit like tht...drop it in elevate
i dont battle but i wuldnt b worried against u
ure shit