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Thread: The Sands of time

  1. #1
    LyRiCaL sHiNoBi Devils_Diamond's Avatar
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    The Sands of time

    haha i can get my poetic side on too.....

    open sesse me...

    Trials and tribulations got me hopen for new inovations/
    Revolations become a #1 because of soul elimination/
    Hopen for a better life, rappen about the same subject every night/
    Gotta fight to survive, liven in the darkness with no light/

    The grains of sand observe the pains of a man with indifference/
    When freefalling re-calling shameless plans of increments/
    An instant is defined by a second thats combined with a lesson/
    Time is perspective a seductive ocean, condutive lotion/
    Tastless, invites you to waste it, but sum obstruct the motion/
    An instrutive potion of enlightenment, thats heightened when/
    Innocence Nixes ignorance inside divine and righteous men/

    The past effects the mind, through deja vu, it's passed a second time/
    I have to press rewind, far away enough the track makes a U turn/
    but few learn from the relationship the past drapes the future/
    Flooded with cynical thoughts i release the first notion/
    and freeze the time by suspending the earths motion/
    A surge potent enough to tear the surfaces texture in a sense/
    Like weight is measured in pounds, time is mesured in events/
    Text words can't impress, so i'll help you invison this incertinty/
    A old timer has a short life, while a teen lives an eternity/
    it opens the next chapter and captures the bland design/
    that we can live long and leave our footprints on the sands of time/
    Draw it, it'll boost progression, and it will erase the proceedings/
    It's time to throw away my clocks and put faith back into my feelings/


    its one of my best... enjoy it and drop sum feed

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    Im that supernova Recruit Troopa Soulja,
    Takin out Brutes as Huge as Boulders

  2. #2
    Banned Impossible920's Avatar
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    Yuh.... its good.. i love the vocab. skills you took on this poem, thats wat made it really good. but i still think that its just mono-tone and shows no image in my head. if u could just use personfaction, and symbolisim to show more actions in this... but overall i think it was pretty good.. God bless

  3. #3
    LyRiCaL sHiNoBi Devils_Diamond's Avatar
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    hey man thanks, positive or negative feedbacks is what im looking for.

    and yours was both which makes me happy.

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    Im that supernova Recruit Troopa Soulja,
    Takin out Brutes as Huge as Boulders

  4. #4
    Banned Impossible920's Avatar
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    yuh.. keep it up , u got one hell of a mind span for ur vocab.. witch is always the best for writing.. so yup

  5. #5
    LyRiCaL sHiNoBi Devils_Diamond's Avatar
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    uppin for feed RB

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    Im that supernova Recruit Troopa Soulja,
    Takin out Brutes as Huge as Boulders

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