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Thread: The Dark Chamber

  1. #31
    UGK
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    Hhmmm... Heres where I'm at a standstill. God's handbook. Is this the bible your refering to, something you came up with, personally, or a book with that title and your taking your own twizt on it? Either way...

    The piece was very creative. From the begining, it had me captured in it. I loved how when you broke down each chapter, you inserted an excerpt from God's handbook in there and kind of gave clarity/forshadowing as to what was going on/going to happen next. Real good there. The vocab for it as well was used very nicely. Not too many big words, but t'was like they were not needed. Also, the way you described when God came down, kill'd Damien, made Satan and his army of darkness retreat, to when God saw what had happened then the children, along with God were grieving, very, very good description as to what was going on.

    Basically, the whole story was in my head the whole time I read it. Very good imagery. And a very dope piece.

    Leave feed on my poem in the sig...

  2. #32
    You've Earned a Custom Title! iLLman's Avatar
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    yo twist. you only 15 wit a vision like that. "Damn" That shit was killer,
    "keep it up kid" i can see you going far in life. Just don't let the bullshit cloud your mind, that negative energy is the Devil, " just Do you kid" and you'll never fall off.
    ******* The Black Mafia *******


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  3. #33
    Black On Black Philly®'s Avatar
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    damn you amd your dopeness,.............this peice was nice as fuck,........everything was there,.........visual was there nice topic the whole nine yards and some........flow was good, but really can't tell cuz it's text,...........u had a nice rhyme scheme and you had multies

    9.0/10

  4. #34
    Back On My Grizzy
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    honestly i suggest everybody nominate this cause this is HOF material
    HIT ME UP ON MYSPACE


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  5. #35
    Live, Love, Burn, Die
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Skribble~
    woa..i got to say that this a very creatvie peice..i liked how you had the different chapters that made the structure very good....even and made the flow smooth as hell......topic was cool..i liked it..i enjiyed this..vocab was here...rhyme scheme was also good..complex....overall this was like a 9.8/10..keep it up..peace
    I agree with the newb. My link is in my sig.

  6. #36
    Back On My Grizzy
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    why so mean^^
    HIT ME UP ON MYSPACE


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  7. #37
    Banned Ike Ill.'s Avatar
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    Ah well, I didnt know you'd actually nominate it in LEGENDS. But wow, thanks yall.

  8. #38
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Yo on the real....................this was fuckin dope................I can't talk

    The vocab was perfect, the imargy was the shit. The whole piece was crazy, it was awesome. I'm waitin for ur next drop man. Nice job in here.

    check out my battle with young hov
    Go ahead.....try somethin

  9. #39
    Newbie Rozcko's Avatar
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    yo im to high to read the rest. but so far so go ill edit this shit and leave more in depth tomaro. haha fuckas

  10. #40
    Big Boozy
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    this iz very good peice it iz 1 of the best i ever read...............................
    keep up the good work and hope u do another 1 soon.

  11. #41
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
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    Ok. I like your imagery and your flow on this piece. Your approach is what amaze me the most. I'm loving your word choices and you got a good balance of vocab. Alright there are grammar errors, fix that. But none the less you had good iimagery and emotioin, came creative with this..Nice..

    Keep dropping.

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    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  12. #42
    S.S. .:KLePTo:.'s Avatar
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    Nice piece, extremely creative, imagery was present, Liked it being broke down into chapters. Good Vocab and rhyme scheme throughout the whole piece. Took me reading Para's 1 & 2 twice to catch onto the flow but then again i just woke up and have a hangover. From the on I had no problem keepin good flow throughout the piece. very NICE drop....Keep Writing

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  13. #43
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    your creativity and presentation was probably the winning factor of this piece, furthermore, the rhymes you had used were also good and the use of multies was an added bonus. Keep it Poppin'

  14. #44
     
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    yes. like pretty much everyone else who left a reply i say its creative. the imagery was very nice in this, through the whole piece i had a nice image in my head. very good. all of this flowed very nicely, and the whole breakin it down in chapters thing was creative to. (like many others said). yeah, i enjoyed this piece alot. good job.

  15. #45
    Banned Ike Ill.'s Avatar
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    Cool. Links anyone?

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