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Thread: The BoomBox.

  1. #1
    God's Deciple
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    The BoomBox.

    T h e B o o m B o x



    Location:Philipines.A woman named Glendale was given a gift.It was a boombox.To you it might seem like nothing and not a big a deal,but it is.


    A loving mother of three,caring and wanting best for her children
    Wanting them to take an education,be cleansefull with out sin
    One of her daughters Glendale...Saw something behind a store window
    Her mother saw her daughter,with a shine in her eye,a bright glow
    She looked inside her pocket,only to find three dollars and 5 cents
    It hurt her in a sence that she couldnt git Glendale that as a present
    She worked hard and well,getting many jobs,every single day
    Cause it was until that day,she got her way,the gift wasnt too far away
    ****
    Inside the store she saw it,a boom box wrapped in a locks
    She knows this isnt worth it,but she takes money out of the sock
    Knonks on the counter,waiting for a woman wit beautifull hair
    And she knew there the future for her daughter was good,she sweared
    Gives the money to the lady,and goes outside with much joy
    Suddenly,a man comes telling her to give up radio or git blown away
    Not knowing what to do,she cared for life,she hands it to him
    He leaves,and in tears she asks "God why?",the sky went dim
    ****
    Present.2005.Location:United States.

    I was told this story when i was young,just a little kid
    I didnt undertsand it until now,just like my brother did
    Leared from this,i knew what mattered in the story,knew what it meant
    That material things dont count,it the hard work you put in it
    More important,i didnt want to hear this from anyother
    Cause i heard it from the most caring person in my life...My mother

  2. #2

  3. #3
    God's Deciple
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    Riose

  4. #4
    God's Deciple
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    Rise

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    This was a pretty good piece. It made me wanna keep reading cuz it was a good story. The imagry was pretty decent. Vocab could have been better, but it'll all good. Nice drop in here.
    Go ahead.....try somethin

  6. #6
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    This was a pretty good piece. It made me wanna keep reading cuz it was a good story and it was interesting. The imagry was pretty decent. Vocab could have been better..maybe more complex, but it'll all good. Nice drop in here.

  7. #7
    God's Deciple
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    Rise

  8. #8
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
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    Meh good story but the concept is played. Your approach to the Topic Bored me. I like the imagery none the less and the story Line. Could've wrote more and at the end was kinda sad. Err your word choices could've been better. But overall Decent drop.

    RTF in my OM Blood Rumors..Peace.

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  9. #9
    good shit.... luvin tha imagery and storyline, flowed well throughout too.... I think a lil more complexity n vocab could have helped but none tha less gud shit...

    -payce
    Overall Net Rekkid-52-5
    RapBattlez Rekkid- 0-0

    most a these sucka emcees just blunder n' pose
    wen I stay true, n continue to bring thunder on flows
    yet some still ask... am I dope?
    *laughs* the answer is right under ya nose
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  10. #10
    Merk Squad Lay Doubt.'s Avatar
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    why don't you put a space in between commas and periods. it's pretty damn annoying. made me stop reading it.
    Last edited by Lay Doubt.; November 13th, 2005 at 10:45 PM
    Been a real one.

  11. #11
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    Story line was dope...kinda depressin, good shit...the flow was pretty good...better vocab could've upped the overall impact of it...but it was good...the imagery was good though and added a lot to the peice...good shit..peace
    -Play-Boy

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