Bare Knuckle Boxing

[Antonio Banderas]

Bare Knuckle Boxing - ROUND ONE
by Antonio Banderas

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...67#post3386767
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=244062

My fists are lethal weapons, ensures irreversible damage is distributed
Lack of agility, an essential skill, keeps my opponent’s back canvas inhibited
Training is brutal, triple interval practices intensifies my success ratio
Fatalities, an endless possibility, make bare knuckle boxing protested by radio
Reinforced steel locks us down, but CEOs won’t disrupt this brawl
As fatigue begins tormenting my body, saliva erupts from my lower jaw
Inmates encircle disputes; Remember, losing is contributed to multiple factors
We never throw in the towel, for quitters are equivalent to false flaggers
Speed & stamina equates to victory, as my fighter credentials are raised
Repulsed by losing, fights end in death, while coroners initial there graves
Physically, pain killers are the equalizer, taken after each prison war
Mentally, if the struggle for continuation dies, what exactly am I living for?
Our carcasses remain exhausted, for each breath for air is now a luxury
Gambling corrupts inmates, bets range from money to obtaining drugs for free
Fluids replenish our body, as fatigued muscles begin to reverse oxidation
My fist remain bruised, as another lost fight deters future boxing agents
Fractured neck was fate of my opponent, as uppercut submerged his wounds
Repeated shots to his neck fracture his spine, ineed of gettin surgically removed

[Trema]

this piece was good.

The lines looked stretched out but when you started to read it all rhymed and fitted together good. Your vocab was sharp and well thought of and every line fitted into this piece well. You had some nice mete's there to, keep it up, i'll be looking out for more from you.

[MagicConcept]

As A Boxer I Felt That Alot It Was Nice. It Was Readable, Good Concept, Str8 Structure. Vocab Was Right On Line. Flow Was Long But It Could Manage. I Give That Piece 8./10

[The Vortex]

whats with the white text?

a mostly decent read though
i especially liked the flow, and also a whole lot of the rhymes you made
vocabulary was nifty dope
delivery and structure was ill

stay upz

[D-Boy]

i liked it
good vocab very creative and descriptive
kepp it up hot verse
8.5/10
(just dont put it in white text nex time)

[warchild]

I liked this verse cause it was different which is rare in OM.
I thought you told the story of the fight in pretty descriptive detail which obviously you had to do or the piece wouldnt have worked at all.
Your wordplay and vocab was the strongest part of the piece you described this dudes surrondings and his feelings real well i thought this would of been a more graphic piece but i still think you did a good job with the concept.
The only thing i think you need to work on would be to add some multies to your verses just to make them slightly more complex.
Return The Feed On My OM:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245014

[Antonio Banderas]

thanks for all the feedback.... uppin this....................................

[deft_technique]

damn tis piece is GD . . . .Vocab was on point mann . . . .flowed nicely together wen u read it . . . .looked stretched but rhymed perfectly . . . .the way u described the atmosphere was wad made this apealin . . . .metas were gd too . . . .but work on multies cuz there were lackin here n also i tot u exxagerated a bit in ur vocab LOL . . . .eg. . . .

saliva erupts from my lower jaw
>>>LOL at erupts . . .
Our carcasses remain exhausted, for each breath for air is now a luxury
>>>damn carcasses!!! . . .LOL now we dead animals . . .LOL

other den dat . . . .gd overall piece rate 8/10

[Mic D]

nice overalll..... lmao.... the title jus reminded me of another ol kat I aint seen here since I been back....BareKnuckles....... but about the piece....nice overall tone and done aight... didnt come off complex as fuck but it came off nice overall... decent read

[Johnny 6-feet]

A good topic, originality is hard to find in Open Mic. You came with good imagery but i thought your vocab was over the top and detracted from the flow of the thing. I caught some multi's thrown in which was a good thing. Your lines were really stretched which i suppose isn't a big deal written down but it's kind of off putting to read. It obvious from reading this you have talent. I'll be keeping an eye out for your drops in the future.

Keep posting, keep elavating.

[DR_VFIB]

Wow, great OM, I could actually picture the two dudes in a cage goin at each other.

The carcass line really sticks out. I could picture the whole thing, the blood, cuts, the wobbliness of each fighter after a good round or two of it.

I liked everything but the white text, I hope to see more from you.

-Doc Vfib

[BigBoss]

This was good. It looked like you put thought into each individual line. Most people dont seem to do that nowadays. The thing that jump out at me was vocab, it was real good from the start of one line to another. I think i even cought some good metaphores. Very good piece all around.

peace,
Boss