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Thread: My Needs; Bereaved - Ft. ~WhiteOut~

  1. #1
    Black Dot Biography!
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    My Needs; Bereaved - Ft. ~WhiteOut~

    Q&A Style.

    ~WhiteOut~
    Dat


    My Needs; Bereaved

    What is it that Convinces the Mind to Critique somebodies every style?...
    Makes you smirk, because you are Disgusted by everything down to their Smile...


    I believe you mention that single feeling, sly in healing,
    I know - i have suffered it, mingled meanings; pain revealing...

    Why do you find yourself in a World full of hate?...
    When this Individual has done nothing but throw off your mental state...


    Because this 'individual' proceeded to take what i never gave,
    Never made way, its stupid but i hate them for sharing my crave..

    Intrigued dare I say by their accomplishments that make you gasp?...
    For how long will the on-going 'Jones' of this goal dawning on you last?...


    Yes, intrigued i am - i want this persons attention yet i have my own; i am in envied conclusion
    For it is different - i have what they crave, yet i find myself realising; Love be confusion..

    Assuming you want what you Cant have? You Repeatedly Try to get...
    Or your Foolishly trying to get more of what you have so Nobody will ever Forget...


    You have it in one, yes i indeed need this all to myself to make warm and hold,
    I simply cannot continue sanely, safely seated watching him create the cold..

    Insecurities eating you alive, inside is twisted and churned?...
    To see this Figure Receiving so much Unconditional attention that you yearned...


    Insecurities are impure - I distill and 'Kill Bill' over revengeful thoughts over his takings..
    She is mine, i belong to her; yet this outsider speaks the words i should be making...

    Confusion eh? What about this Cant you Grasp or consider Legit?
    Cant Fathm the "It"-ness that the Individual possesses but Sincerely admire it?..


    I am confused because he withdraws her from me yet i am promised faithfulness,
    I am unamused when i know he cannot have her, yet has one finger on her; hes failing with graciousness..





    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...=1#post3364352
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...85#post3382285

    Get some feed. Mature criticism only.
    Last edited by Dat; October 30th, 2005 at 09:21 PM
    PE|WV

  2. #2
     
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    mm.. like this almost as much as mom's cooking.
    Roc-A-Fella !

  3. #3
     
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    upping this for some good feed. C'mon dont sleep on something this original.. and this Good.
    Roc-A-Fella !

  4. #4
    Black Dot Biography!
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    Feed me :now:
    PE|WV

  5. #5
     
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    Ok, only if your really hungry though...

    -Open Up.......
    Roc-A-Fella !

  6. #6
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    Ppl in here should apologize 2 yall..4 not leavin FB!!

    id say you have 2 like it lol...just because it is a creative way 2 come about a piece like this...and i think you guys pulled it off well.

    neways

    White out--you did a fantastic job, of dropping with a good flow,wordplay,structure..etc, and having 2 twist everything you say into question form..i thought that came out real well!..

    favorite lines of yours:

    What is it that Convinces the Mind to Critique somebodies every style?...
    Makes you smirk, because you are Disgusted by everything down to their Smile...
    **and**
    Confusion eh? What about this Cant you Grasp or consider Legit?
    Cant Fathm the "It"-ness that the Individual possesses but Sincerely admire it?.


    DAT-- I thought you did a fine job, with flow,creativity,pretty good vocab for in some way i would think that you were also strap'd 2 have 2 fit in words...cuz you had 2 answer his questions..so i thought you did a great job of coming hard with what you had!....great job..great drop

    favorite lines of yours:
    I believe you mention that single feeling, sly in healing,
    I know - i have suffered it, mingled meanings; pain revealing...
    **and**
    Yes, intrigued i am - i want this persons attention yet i have my own; i am in envied conclusion
    For it is different - i have what they crave, yet i find myself realising; Love be confusion..

    YO..IF YOU HAVENT ARLEADY ...TAKE A LOOKZY AT ..::THE DIARIES::.. GOOD SHIT!!

    THANX

    (LINK IS IN MY SIG)

  7. #7
    The True Psycho of RB
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    People havent been leaving feed on this cause a lot of people log on the site at different times but this should be getting a lot of feed.
    I really like reading deep Om's and this was a good one the concept was deep and you did a good job with the concept unlike a lot of writers who try to do topicals. The story was told well by both of you i really liked the way you both stayed to the same concept with collabo pieces a lot of the time one person gets the story muddled up and fucks it up but you both did a good job with the story. I thought your verses were both similar but obviously the verses were interwined together the imagery was the strongest part of the piece it was very descriptive so it helped you get out your thoughts and feelings well you could feel the emotion through the words which is rare in an Om. Your vocab was also nice obviously that helped you with the nice imagery you came up with. The flow was ok no multies but this piece was still dope so i couldnt really hate on this. I thought you both wrote well so im not gonna say who i thought was better cause i think you both brought good verses to the table.
    Return the feed on my new OM:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=245014
    I got caught for killing time but then i got away with words-Chino XL

  8. #8
     
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    Thanks for the feed.... lets get a couple more in here.. maybe 4 or 5 more.. that would be nice, i'd like to see this be a possible nomination for H.O.F. but, never know unless we get feed.

    Good feed please.. i'll be looking at some of your pieces later on tonight.
    Roc-A-Fella !

  9. #9
     
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    Upping please.....

    Get some honest feed in here....... from noobs to vets. aslong as you grasp the concept of a deep piece.
    Roc-A-Fella !

  10. #10
    Black Dot Biography!
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    Uppin.. Wake the fuck up.
    PE|WV

  11. #11
    TwixSin
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    i liked this peice... had nice harmony between you're two style... i liked how you went bar for bar... you two should try line by line that would make for a really interesting peice too... nice work here.... keep it both of you.... nice flow and had some good meaningfull shit... so content also was great here.

  12. #12
     
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    Thanks for the feed, Hit us up,, we do a trio collab someday? word

    anybody in Po 'Ethics must be dope on the skills,,, hit us up then... good lookin on the feed

    more feed please
    Roc-A-Fella !

  13. #13
     
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    Please leave some more feed in here. This is some original ish, dont sleep on it
    Roc-A-Fella !

  14. #14
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    People havent been leaving feed on this cause a lot of people log on the site at different times but this should be getting a lot of feed.
    I really like reading deep Om's and this was a good one the concept was deep and you did a good job with the concept unlike a lot of writers who try to do topicals. The story was told well by both of you i really liked the way you both stayed to the same concept with collabo pieces a lot of the time one person gets the story muddled up and fucks it up but you both did a good job with the story. I thought your verses were both similar but obviously the verses were interwined together the imagery was the strongest part of the piece it was very descriptive so it helped you get out your thoughts and feelings well you could feel the emotion through the words which is rare in an Om. Your vocab was also nice obviously that helped you with the nice imagery you came up with. The flow was ok no multies but this piece was still dope so i couldnt really hate on this. I thought you both wrote well so im not gonna say who i thought was better cause i think you both brought good verses to the table.

  15. #15
     
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    and y did you copy and paste that??
    Roc-A-Fella !

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