User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 13 of 13

Thread: Smoke Signals

  1. #1
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,207
    Battle Record
    3-3

    Smoke Signals

    birds singing in his ears to him it's sweet melody
    ease of pain floats away, as the wind pushes the trees
    his son smile he sees, it creates an warmth in his heart
    wife besides him, that he knows he'll never depart
    sun shining above as god looks over him and his family,
    with them there's only one word to describe this "peace"
    but that 'peace' is interrupted by the clouds in the air,
    edges of the black clouds in the blue sky sharply it tears.
    the signal is clear 'darkness is coming and fast'
    got his weapon, tears coursing down his son eyes
    ...when he looked back

    he sees the anger on their faces, cries of war on both sides
    emotional are aside as he gets ready the judge death or live life
    in his sight, like roses wounds are blossom and blood leaks,
    not much words is being said only the action actually speaks.
    is this the season of autumn, cause bodies are falling everywhere,
    some of them crawling for help, as the others their life’s disappear,
    quickly they go like water vapor on this hot day up into the sky,
    weapon of his sinking through the men skin along with a shock cry.
    fallen onto the knee's 'we've won!', finally a gift for working till the bone
    blood leaks everywhere many life’s were being taken. Including his own.

    *smoke signals*

    "we've won!" a smile grace nicely on her brass,
    run toward the open waiting for her husband mask.
    suddenly a shook of fear ran through her female spine,
    "oh no!" was it because he didn't see him? no it's the sign
    she runs the opposite way with reverence of her dear life,
    they use the smoke as bait and she took it "O god, O my"
    it was created by the Indians, but it's know being used against,
    running while son in her arms, then something knocked her sense
    fallen on her knees-does she know praying is no good now?
    she wasn't praying, she watched the horrific went on
    ...while she laid on the ground


    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=241039
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=241795

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  2. #2
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,207
    Battle Record
    3-3
    Uppin..........

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  3. #3
    . Illus''s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Brooklyn
    Age
    45
    Posts
    8,361
    Battle Record
    8-7
    Umm ok
    can't give a serious breakdown cause
    I have to be in class but uh...

    Nice topic , unqiue, nice flow scheme.
    However use more multies makes the piece
    better to follow.

    I like you second paragraph due to the imagery..
    some of your lines though didn't rhyme...
    or end with the rhyme scheme which made me
    as a reader bored in away.

    piece wasn't all that deep but had potential.

    sorry for the rush feed but yeah.
    I'll try to leave better feed when I get home

  4. #4
    God's Deciple
    Guest
    This piece was pretty good.I liked the imagery cause it changes in a way during the process of the different verses.The emotion was what caught my eye though.In each stanza the emotion changed as well.It went from calm to a different emotion.I liked that alot.The wording in this coulda been better mainly cause the choice of vocab. wasnt that well,and the rest was pretty good.

    Overall.
    Nice piece.

  5. #5
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,207
    Battle Record
    3-3
    No mu fuckah I said Blood Rumors...Homo..Lol Uppin.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    238
    Battle Record
    0-1
    - puffs on a cocoa puff brand fake plastic blunt. - Your topicals always annoyed me. You use a lot of misspellings and some lines don't make sense

    "we've won!" a smile grace nicely on her brass,
    run toward the open waiting for her husband mask
    What the hell is that supposed to mean? For some reason, you seem to have a monotonous flow, lack proper execution of a storyline with vocabulary that makes sense and all of that. I never liked reading your stuff because for some reason you, Drama Queen, Lady Fiya and all those other RV girls seem to have the same style that seems really monotonous and all of that.

    Give me that rematch some time.

    And RTF on 'Consciousness, it's Bothersome'.
    Topical me.

  7. #7
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,207
    Battle Record
    3-3
    OMFG is this Daemon..Did I not beat you Twice on rv...with my lack proper execution of a storyline and my vocab...????

    Yes I did...

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    238
    Battle Record
    0-1
    You have nothing on me, Tweety. The first time my internet went out, and the second time any topical head could clearly say I thrashed you but you're a girl on RV and you're apparently a lesbian, and any girl on RV(and they are all basically lesbians at heart) will ride you, and so will most of the guys. You want to have a topical match in a site neither of us have ever gone to, we'll see how far your monotonous storylines get you.
    Topical me.

  9. #9
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,207
    Battle Record
    3-3
    I got 3 matches due next week and one of them is against DQ on this other site and if I win my WOP3 battle here on RB...Let's discuss this more on PM...Yeah let's go and talk about that Third woopin I'm going to give you.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    238
    Battle Record
    0-1
    You mean, you'll have one win on me that's not even legitimate. You've never 'whooped me', you have clit riders like mad on places where you've gone around flaunting yourself but you give no proof you're a girl at all. Also, I no-showed at one battle because my internet was out, so keep acting like you're all that because desperate RV cats ride you.

    Some people voted for you because you have more emotion and indepth. Apparently your clitriders can't understand the concept of actually not using emotion in a piece meant to be more on the side of a normal day of a worker? All you did was copy the exorcist, but made it force-rhyme. If you want a real battle, let's go to a neutral site.
    Last edited by Drunken Waffle; November 13th, 2005 at 10:11 PM
    Topical me.

  11. #11
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,207
    Battle Record
    3-3
    Like I said get at me on PM...Stupid..and stop clogging my thread.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Posts
    238
    Battle Record
    0-1
    At least I'm keeping your lame generic ass OM up, so stop moaning. I still haven't seen those pics that ysdat and I petitioned for, but if you weren't a girl you'd probably get some girl to do it. As far as I'm concerned, you're another overrated bitch who can't do anything but be one of the minority on a rap site where all the men don't care about a girl's talents as long as she ACTS like she has looks. So, I'm heading out, hit me up in PM so we can see what wins

    a girl who gets clitriders, but what happens when it's on a site she hasn't got clit-riders on yet

    vrs.

    daemon, who is doper.
    Topical me.

  13. #13
    The Topical Juggernaut ITawAPuddyKat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    2,207
    Battle Record
    3-3
    I'm loving your Imagery...use that in our battle would you?..

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    ...I don't Go Right. I go Left...

Similar Threads

  1. If i Smoke She Smoke . ft Psuedo
    By ~Ill~usion~ in forum The Studio
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: October 14th, 2011, 02:16 PM
  2. Taylor Gang???WIZ KHALIFA!!!!!!!SMOKE...SMOKE..
    By liltraybeatz in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: July 30th, 2011, 05:26 PM
  3. Smoke Signals
    By Sado in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: November 9th, 2007, 03:00 PM
  4. Smoke Signals Pt.1
    By Lil Haze in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: June 5th, 2007, 12:15 AM
  5. Smoke Signals Pt.2
    By Lil Haze in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: June 4th, 2007, 06:40 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •