~Helping a Dejected Outcast~

[SikTrik]

* I was motivated to right this poem because at my school i would be considered the popular kid....however im usually not the one 2 make fun about somebody that is different..unless they really have it commin..and need a good asskicking..but still....and i dont kno i have a girl in my 4th hour class...who cuts herself, and is pale,and weres black..and i never see her happy..and it makes me notice that there a lot of them..who seem so down..and well she motivated me 2 write this...



~Helping a Dejected Outcast~


always around a girl scared of life
devil prances here fingers
grasping tight playin the skin by knife
black garments to the pale white skin
shell so thick impossible to crack
no hope, no light to shine within
rage overcomes any fight urges
the stares and harsh insults
kills the soul,as hatred emerges
popular cliches take away any delight
make her life the hell she wears
but that dont make the insults right
deep down the darkness lives a girl
who was pushed to accept this role
to play on earth,only 2 be left from the world
if you are not happy live a new life away from pain
cuz i dont know you,and u feel the same
but if u need somone 4 closure.....
.....i can help you change.....

[HaZy]

devil prances her fingers
prances upon her fingers?
regardless
i read a poem like this a long while ago and like you it made me think of that person who sits in teh black of class all quiet wearing a manson tee with scars up n down her arms and eyeliner so thick you actually think her eyes are black

good peice
a daily dose of reality

[SikTrik]

thanx 4 the feedback..thats greatly appreciated see'n that ppl sleep on my shit hardcore..gets a little frustrating at times..but thank you

uppin 4 some more FB

peze

[SikTrik]

Studda Check It

Ch Ch Ch Che Check It Out!!!

Up Up Uppin This Uppity Upper!

[Pharoah.]

good piece......... it was reality and i liked the way you stated that
i liked the flow and topic too....
nice pz

[Varentao]

Yeah, had a nice, personal, realness to it. Written well enough. Though seemed a bit within itself. Like it was brooding within itself. Not sure whether that hinders it too much. Hmmm, i thought it was good.

[*Jazzmine*]

should have written this a different way. and U need to work on rhymin shit and the topic was okay just needed more feeling to ya poem though feel me on that

[mad linx]

hey Jazzmine lets battle?

[!.VeRbZ.!]

nice peice felt the imagery creativity was fine......complexity was good cud of been better but good ...keep it up ill be looking for more peices from u....oh yeah and i also liked how the title matched the peice...and go hit up ma peice honestly its intitled Brotherly Love